Dark Poetry #4 |
If only you would go away |
silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
I hear you but i can't see you and as i try to clear my vision more and more smoky haze builds between you and me If only you would go away then everything would be clear again and i could walk freely through these doors and turn out safe on the other side My eyes now hurt from the stress and pressure of a million tears blinded by your lies and your beauty i just followed you through my own worst dream how was i so stupid? if you had a reason to hurt me, i surely would have seen but the alias of your image took over and i fell deeply into your clutch this is the part that hurts the most out of all your indulging torture this is the hardest thing to have over you the thought of leaving you behind i know it must be done but my body has had enough pain and my eyes have cried enough tears to last any more moments with you The wind breathes in my words and my hands begin to release my jacket and my legs begin to relax and walk over to you even though the haze is still smoking my eyes i can see you now even though the awkward haze still hovers between us you try to smile in resistance but i dont want you anymore Please dont let me walk away please dont let me tell you goodbye if only you would go away then i wouldnt have to cry another tear In the bible on angels have wings, and the rest must wait to be saved - Jewel |
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darkstar Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 230Port Richey, Fl, USA |
nice... |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
once again you write my emotion perfectly. loved it amazing. not asd amazing as the one u wrote for m n b but i really really felt this one. My eyes now hurt from the stress and pressure of a million tears blinded by your lies and your beauty i just followed you through my own worst dream love that bit the most. we all know that feeling too well.... also the stress and pressure of a million tears waiting to come right. i hate that feeling. love you for everything youve done and everything you havent. missing you like crazy laura. everyone is. you know who to call. darkness You can always hear a tear in Cobain's voice, the pain going on there is always visible through his lyrics - Marilon Manson |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
silhouetted- sweet, sad, heartfelt, nicely penned. |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
Ahh.. wow. I like this. It is very sad, but very beautiful at the same time. Amazin work, as always! ~lol~ ~Vampire Kisses I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
how well I can understand this!!! |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
hmmm...i very much liked this. there where a few areas that i think could be worked on but i'm not sure if they are enough of an issue to point out. other than that, it's great! - River sleep my precious slumber |
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sweet_cute_palestinian04 Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 418Earth |
wow...i know its too late but this poemm was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo gr88 i love all ur poems ...u have soo much talent...well keep it upp.. loveeee muahzzzzzz |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
Nice words, but I had a hard time understanding the over all poetry. |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
I don't why I haven't replied to this astounding piece of your artistic creation, which I feel particularly understanding towards. (I don't know f that makes any sense...???) I believed you in this...really great work. Monumental, Poignant and fathomable. Keep it up lovie. Hollow "Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian |
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aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
this is amazing, i actually feel like this right now, the emotion and the imageryt is fantastic... keep up the writing... Mel so this is me but what do you care about that???? |
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