and i am hollow once more - pipTalk Forums

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Gothika_07
Member

since 2004-01-15

Posts 61
new zealand

0 posted 2004-02-05 12:16 PM

i love this person, but im bound to you
i crave this person , but i am still yours
when i am near this person my heart flutters
but then you come and my heart is deflated

i pretend what i feel for you is real and true
but the only real thing i have left to feel
is the uncomtrollable wanting of this close other
when the slight touch sends shivers running thru me
then you touch me i am dull and bored

the electicity in my body is only charged by the other
then one day i'll realize that i hate you and love him
and break the dying loyalties and create a new

but then the other doesnt want me, and i dnt have you
and darkness soon sets in
and a loneliness is followed
i am hollow once more

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

1 posted 2004-02-05 12:43 PM

very intresting, i liked the ending

"So what befalls the flawless?
Look what I've built, it shines so beautifully now watch as it destroys me."

silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

2 posted 2004-02-05 03:15 AM

BEST EVA BEX
I LOVE IT SOOO MUCH
OMGOMGOMGOMG
I LOVE THE LAST PARAGRAPH
I DNT CARE WAT U SAY IM USING IT FOR MY MSN NAME
LUV U SOOO MUCH BEXUS

L4N
Luv Lor

Silhouetted by Deception

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

3 posted 2004-02-05 10:38 AM

I don't think I need to say anything. This is a nice piece.

GIS

a trickle of music fromm a well
let it spill and roar like hell

[...see a lot up there but don't be scared. Who needs actions when we got words?]

Kie
Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 77
USA

4 posted 2004-02-05 04:43 PM

I thought your poem was great. It was interesting, emotional, expressed really well. Kie

silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

5 posted 2004-02-05 05:59 PM

LOVE IT

Silhouetted by Deception

darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

6 posted 2004-02-05 06:27 PM

i agree with laura 100%

You can always hear a tear in Cobain's voice, the pain going on there is always visible through his lyrics - Marilon Manson

aussie teen
Member

since 2003-09-27

Posts 396
Australia

7 posted 2004-02-06 05:53 AM

amazing..... completely amazing.....
use of words and imagery.... you have serious talent and good luck with all your writing and everything you choose to do with life
Mel

this is me.... like it or not....
its who i am!
i am woman hear me roar

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

8 posted 2004-02-23 03:18 AM

I understand so well

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