Dark Poetry #4 |
Who will call my name? |
NightFall Member
since 2004-01-28
Posts 88The land known as England |
As i walk beneth the trees out in the cold night rain i wonder who is out there who will call my name? Will the one who feeds at night And rolls together all his might answer my call out on this cold rainy night? Or will it simply be the man who holds a flame for me calling on this cold rainy night? For i do not want to hear these men I want to hear my dark prince for nothing is deeper than his bite Nothing will be stronger than his might Out on this cold rainy night. |
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© Copyright 2004 Cheryl Jones - All Rights Reserved | |||
Amara Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 158East of the moon, west of the sun. |
Makes me think of vampires. I really like the title. Light keep you always, Amara [Perhaps my farewell isn't the most suited for this area of poetry. ] |
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NightFall Member
since 2004-01-28
Posts 88The land known as England |
Your thinking is correct Amara. thankyou for your comments. |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
WOOHOOO LOVE IT!!!!! VERY VERY DARK AND VAMPY TWO BIG THUMBS WAY UP DUDETTE keep rokin Please answer, I'm calling just to find out if you could be there for me when I crack - finger 11 |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
I read poetry cuz, I just enjoy it and the way it makes me feel and what it makes me think about. This one is really cool!!! Enjoyed!!! Bridgette "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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Vagabond Member
since 2004-01-23
Posts 163 |
I've edited it slightly, it is a good poem who will call my name? As i walk beneth the trees who will call my name? out in the cold night rain who will call my name? as wonder who is out there who will call my name? Will the one who feeds at night And rolls together all his might answer my call out on this cold rainy night? Or will it simply be the man who holds a flame for me calling on this cold rainy night? For i do not want to hear these men I want to hear my dark prince for nothing is deeper than his bite Nothing will be stronger than his might Out on this cold rainy night. the beginning was changed Vagabon the Lost One |
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NightFall Member
since 2004-01-28
Posts 88The land known as England |
Yea thats cool thanx for the suggestion. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
NightFall~ I thought the title was poetry in itself~ You walked me through the emotions expertly ... also noting that I did like the suggested editing ... for the title was so strong as to lend itself to the repeat~ GREAT JOB on this piece~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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KuruShio Member
since 2003-11-18
Posts 110 |
ahh steping out onto the porch at 3 am to yell inside your mind take me now so i might have time to do the things that i would have done. it is a pity for all their romanticism they still have not come for me i share your pain. although most likely for diffrent reasons |
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NightFall Member
since 2004-01-28
Posts 88The land known as England |
Thankyou for your kind words ppl. Aloth the suggested editing was good i do prefer my orignal piece. |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
"For i do not want to hear these men I want to hear my dark prince for nothing is deeper than his bite" loved these lines "So what befalls the flawless? |
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NightFall Member
since 2004-01-28
Posts 88The land known as England |
Thankyou all once again for all you comments. |
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Kie Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 77USA |
I love vampires. Your poem was awesome. Kie |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
i love it soo much THE BEST OF YOUR POEMS FOR SURE niice as chic Silhouetted by Deception |
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