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NightFall
Member

since 2004-01-28

Posts 88
The land known as England

0 posted 2004-01-31 03:37 PM

As i walk beneth the trees
out in the cold night rain
i wonder who is out there
who will call my name?
Will the one who feeds at night
And rolls together all his might
answer my call
out on this cold rainy night?
Or will it simply be
the man who holds a flame
for me
calling on this cold rainy night?
For i do not want to hear these men
I want to hear my dark prince
for nothing is deeper than his bite
Nothing will be stronger than his might
Out on this cold rainy night.

Amara
Member

since 2003-02-23

Posts 158
East of the moon, west of the sun.

1 posted 2004-01-31 03:54 PM

Makes me think of vampires.

I really like the title.

Light keep you always,
Amara

[Perhaps my farewell isn't the most suited for this area of poetry.

]

NightFall
Member

since 2004-01-28

Posts 88
The land known as England

2 posted 2004-01-31 07:30 PM

Your thinking is correct Amara.
thankyou for your comments.

darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

3 posted 2004-02-01 01:30 AM

WOOHOOO

LOVE IT!!!!!

VERY VERY DARK AND VAMPY

TWO BIG THUMBS WAY UP DUDETTE

keep rokin

Please answer, I'm calling just to find out if you could be there for me when I crack - finger 11

Justbleu
Member Elite

since 1999-08-31

Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

4 posted 2004-02-01 11:31 PM

I read poetry cuz, I just enjoy it and the way it makes me feel and what it makes me think about.
This one is really cool!!!
Enjoyed!!!
Bridgette

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown

Vagabond
Member

since 2004-01-23

Posts 163

5 posted 2004-02-03 04:01 PM

I've edited it slightly, it is a good poem

who will call my name?
As i walk beneth the trees
who will call my name?
out in the cold night rain
who will call my name?
as wonder who is out there
who will call my name?

Will the one who feeds at night
And rolls together all his might
answer my call
out on this cold rainy night?
Or will it simply be
the man who holds a flame
for me
calling on this cold rainy night?
For i do not want to hear these men
I want to hear my dark prince
for nothing is deeper than his bite
Nothing will be stronger than his might
Out on this cold rainy night.

the beginning was changed

Vagabon the Lost One

NightFall
Member

since 2004-01-28

Posts 88
The land known as England

6 posted 2004-02-03 05:25 PM

Yea thats cool thanx for the suggestion.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

7 posted 2004-02-03 06:12 PM

NightFall~
I thought the title was poetry in itself~

You walked me through the emotions expertly ... also noting that I did like the suggested editing ... for the title was so strong as to lend itself to the repeat~

GREAT JOB on this piece~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

[email protected]

KuruShio
Member

since 2003-11-18

Posts 110

8 posted 2004-02-03 10:53 PM

ahh steping out onto the porch at 3 am to yell inside your mind take me now so i might have time to do the things that i would have done.

it is a pity for all their romanticism they still have not come for me

i share your pain. although most likely for diffrent reasons

NightFall
Member

since 2004-01-28

Posts 88
The land known as England

9 posted 2004-02-04 04:14 PM

Thankyou for your kind words ppl. Aloth the suggested editing was good i do prefer my orignal piece.

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

10 posted 2004-02-05 12:53 PM

"For i do not want to hear these men
I want to hear my dark prince
for nothing is deeper than his bite"

loved these lines

"So what befalls the flawless?
Look what I've built, it shines so beautifully now watch as it destroys me."

NightFall
Member

since 2004-01-28

Posts 88
The land known as England

11 posted 2004-02-05 01:19 PM

Thankyou all once again for all you comments.

Kie
Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 77
USA

12 posted 2004-02-05 04:46 PM

I love vampires. Your poem was awesome. Kie

silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

13 posted 2004-02-05 09:12 PM

i love it soo much

THE BEST OF YOUR POEMS FOR SURE

niice as chic

Silhouetted by Deception

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