Dark Poetry #4 |
"Done" |
Sikanda Member
since 2002-10-08
Posts 54 |
"Done" Mizunderstood living in a daze a fog half-crazed confused untied broken- I tried Mizunderstood I lose undone abused Take from me what you want life is no longer fun- I cried Mizunderstood no end promises left unfulfilled black mood You won- empty voices in my head So much left denied I'm done- * This poem is a product of an over-caffienated extremely sleepy mind. I really like the rhythym of the poem however. Tell me what you think... |
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wintertao Member
since 2003-11-17
Posts 366Okaloosa Island, FL |
nice I likes ! |
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Necro Draconis Member
since 2000-05-19
Posts 115 |
I like different, and that it is. Excellent We spend our whole lives trying to live, only to realize that we don’t know what life is truly about until it is too late. |
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choshi Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184New York |
Yes, the rhythm was the first thing I felt immediately...the content works for me also...~C |
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Sikanda Member
since 2002-10-08
Posts 54 |
good news everyone! I entered this poem in an online contest and it was picked yay! Still waiting for word on if its in the finals... oh I entered it under a friends name so if you see this poem slightly different published somewhere - its still mine k? |
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MindBodySoul Member
since 2007-01-10
Posts 196NJ |
wow... nicely said even in the state of mind you were in. Sometimes the best creations happen when you least expect them. MindBodySoul Jen--->MindBodySoul |
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RavenSmith Member
since 2007-03-02
Posts 53Oregon |
I liked the rhythm in your poem too. I especially liked your topic. Boy, does that plaque man and I know it all too well. Learning to not want to be understood is a lovely freeing thing and I am starting to get good at it but untilits mastered some form of linger with empty will endure. ~Best Regards,Raven Smith |
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