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Dark Poetry #4
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| Dark Poetry #4 |
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105 |
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JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
ice storm amid the mad rush of the season the whirlwind comes to a standstill after an explosion of transformers and branches downing power lines - a flash of blue light beyond the evergreens a lashing down of rain then the sound of winter pebbles beating frost flowers on the pane by morning all trees in the forest are wearing their christmas finery shimmering coats of platinum dripping with tear drop diamonds the rooks keep vows of silence in the hush of the crystal cathedral chickadees chitter their prayers on strings of silvery beads fox breaks ice in the brook to drink from the living water as day slips away through the rose window and starlings head for their night roost shivering in cold feathers of exhaustion darkness gathers without and within a penny for a candle a paycheck for a quilt or a hot cup of coffee with steam that rises like incense offered in gratitude for a days release from the whirlwind and hours to spin the prayer wheel. |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
why don't you post more in Open?! This is amazing. I admit, it's the second one i've read from you, and loved.  I don't really come into dark very often, I used to a lot more back in the day. I wish you would post more in Open so more could read you. |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
You're looking at the work of the second best poet on the site SEA. They should come to her. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
if they can't find her, it would make it tough. |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
Diamonds attract . |
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prize Member
since 2008-11-21
Posts 116 |
Jennifer, I love reading your poems and this poem is just awesome - the imagery is vivid and I just love calm it placed over me as I read it. Excellent! P |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Dear J.M., It's hard writing Christmas poems, just as it's hard writing 9/11 poems. The issue is how to get beyond the emotions and perceptions that you're supposed to have about the holiday or the experience and reach something that's specifically your own that can shock you or surprise you or turn you on your head. With the explosion and the transformer, you were reaching for that here, but I suspect got scared of following that up. I think that's where the actual poem lies, but you got buried by an avalanche of convention. Sincerely, Bob Kaven |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Nice poem. The imagery is great as are the religious overtones. Comparisons between nature and religious institutions are always a welcome addition to any poem like this |
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JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
You're right, Bob, it was a forced write. Not sure what you mean by "scared of following that up". |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Dear J.M,, If we start writing about material with a heavy psychological charge, the same mechanisms of defense kick in that protect us from frightening material that comes from the outside world, only this time they're directed at material emerging from the inside. Defense mechanisms actually work from both directions, otherwise you'd be flooded with all sorts of difficult, frightening, sexually explicit or violent material all the time instead of having some of it come through some of the time in smaller doses. It's been a while since I read the basic work on this stuff, but I think you might find some of it in The Ego and the Mechanisms of Defense by Sigmund Freud. The idea is that the ego needs protection from both internal and external material, lest it be overwhelmed. When you write poems, some of the material you deal with is frequently highly charged and your mind will frequently turn away from it into more conventional material because you don't have to think and feel, firstly; and secondarily, the material doesn't carry that scary charge as often, that sense of, I shouldn't know this, I shouldn't talk about this, I shouldn't risk this. The other risk is that if you do write it down, it will just be plain stoopid, and the sense of threat is because you're scared of humiliating yourself in public. Always possible. That's why there are friends and desk drawers, to provide cooling off time from when you think you've just written the greatest thing every written and when you get some realistic sense of what you've got on paper. And so you can make your own judgements, separate from those people who tell you that you're wonderful and who mean well, but don't know what wonderful poems really are. Or whose notion of wonderful poems is more like Rod McKuen than reality. You need to figure out whose understanding of wonderful poems you trust, though, and whose you don't. That is difficult and scary, too. Perhaps more of an answer than you wanted, but one that I think I'd like to stand behind, at least for now. All my best, Bob Kaven |
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