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Dark Poetry #4

Innocence

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

0 posted 2003-12-18 04:45 AM

Oh the shallow ground
Drinking its youth,
Tempting its fruit.

Listening to the wind,
Innocent trips around its landscape,
Forever a fortress of its own good fortune.

The feathers are heard swiftly,
as kids treat the soil with tight knit hands,
only to see it seep through the cracks.

Rings are unfolded one by one,
Circled through the tired fields,
Forever timeless with stillness.

Casual tracks field regret,
As leaves are the trend,
For one last glance.

Defective
Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 73
Salisbury NC

1 posted 2003-12-18 11:09 PM

Innocence is too often overlooked. Good write.

Kristi

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

2 posted 2003-12-18 11:55 PM

I love how you crafted the second stanza, how you explain inosence almost like its a person. Innosence is beautiful. But I believe you can lose it in a beautiful way as well. Innosense is not always what you do, its what you see, and things that affect you can destroy that innosence.
enough ranting. I loved this poem.

Laney
Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 85
Illinois

3 posted 2003-12-19 02:45 AM

Forever timeless with stillness....

I love that line..its beautiful. Good write!
--Alana

Kazeru
Junior Member

since 2003-12-16

Posts 31

4 posted 2003-12-20 10:44 AM

I think it's true that in nature and children there can be found true innocence...
Lovely poem!

->Be thy angels? Nay We are just men!<-

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2004-02-23 02:51 AM

I agree....great piece

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