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Dark Poetry #4

the lights came too quick

NormalitxButterfly
Member

since 2008-07-09

Posts 107

0 posted 2008-08-24 05:13 AM

"untitled"

the lights came too quick
no time to flinch
ground into the asphalt
they stand over my broken body
speaking words I can't understand
the edges of my vision blurs
if I close my eyes who will watch over you?
the darkness came too fast
I try to call out your name
but my voice never reaches my lips
*so tired*
I close my eyes
I wish I had told you ( I love you)
the end it came to soon
I hear you crying in the distance
*I'm sorry*

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

1 posted 2008-08-25 01:17 AM

I enjoyed this one. The speaker fighting to stay alive but knowing the end will come soon is well-drawn. The crushing blow at the end, in which the object of the speaker's love is heard crying (an illusion perhaps?) works well.

Life's short. Think hard!
Me!

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