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Dark Poetry #4
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Kitty selects the morning readings
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Kitty selects the morning readings |
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JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
Because of a misadventure on the ladder that transports her from cold linoleum to a warm oak paradise on the top of a six foot bookcase, I woke to find half a dozen books on the floor, slightly clawed by a Kitty death grip. I gathered up Kitty's literary selections, thanked her for the surprise offering, and stacked them at random beside the mug of coffee that opens my eyes for my morning reading session. Running my eyes down titles on the spines, I began to wonder if Kitty's selections were mere happenstance or her way of telling me sometimes it takes more than coffee. Pulsar from the Ligden Poetry Society, a gift from a friend I've neglected too long, Billy Collins Nine Horses & Sailing Around the Room, Browning's Sonnets and David Meltzer's Arrows with the W in Arrow pointing down to the title of the last book in the pile - One Hundred Years of Solitude. |
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voice2bheard Senior Member
since 2007-10-19
Posts 591New York |
Aww thats cute!! I liked it!! Kate |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Dear JM, The poem ends in the right place and on the right line and on the right note. The poem begins, however, at the very beginning of the story. The strategy you've used for getting through the poem is to follow the time line. First thing first. Second thing second. Third thing third. This can be an excellent strategy for many things, especially essays, which depend on the building of a case through means of logic, Most of us are trained to write essays and we bring the habits we learned there into our poetry. When we make them work, it's very good, but if you look at the poems you admire I suspect you'll find that mostly they don't use that for a strategy. I actually suggest you not take my word for this and look for yourself. For lyric poetry and for narrative poetry the strategy of the writing is different. Usually, since Homer in fact, poems tend to start in the middle, where there is action and motion already going on. That's why you look for highly energized parts of your draft when you re-write. Frequently they are natural beginnings for the poem. They are where the poem actually starts. If you know where the end of the poem is, and I think you do here, you've got the two extremes of the poem. Is there anything between them that you actually need or that would make the two ends more pleasing that lives up to the energy of the two extremes? What happens to the next draft when you try to assemble what you've got, J.M.? What changes does this draft demand from you for it to live and thrive? Not to be your creature, mind you, but to be something with its own clear and vital energy throughout, to the best of your ability to grant that? I'm trying to offer ways of thinking about poems and drafting poems here for you JM, not rewrites to the extent that I can keep my hands off your words. I don't know if you see these pieces of feedback, but I'm hoping to be helpful. I think you write good stuff and you deserve every effort here. Especially if they don't get in your way. My Best, BobK |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I love your poetry and I truly love you as well. This poem describes something I would do...but I'm hungry for a little more, as well. I'd be reading madly trying to find the common thread of Kitty's selections, m'self. But I'm weird like that.  The only thing I'd change is the title, because judging by the selections? "Kitty" has excellent taste. "Fancy Feast"--nod. Much enjoyed this as a lighter side of you.  |
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