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voice2bheard
Senior Member

since 2007-10-19

Posts 591
New York

0 posted 2008-02-25 10:44 AM

Congratulationns on being born and in this world

and before you know it, you're talking and walking around

you're four years old,laughing having fun, no rules

and before you know it, you're five and your 1st day of school making new friends, learning and seeing what everything means

then before you know it middle school, you just turned thirteen

voices all around you, puberty and peer pressure start to arrive

then before you know it, you're graduating high school , you walk across the stage, congrats, you survived

You're first year in college, you want to do your best to get a great job

and before you know it, you're done with college and you start work on monday

you're driving home, and had a long day at work

before you know it you're married with two kids

You're kids come home from the school and then the very next day there all grown up

and before you know it you're the one with the video camera in your hand watching them walk across the stage

you're sitting at home all along watching t.v, when you're children come to visit, and you hear " Grandma, Grandpa" from your grandchildren

and before you know it, you're at your 50th reunion

you think back to all the times you had

and before you know it, you're in a bed

when you hear the doctor say that you only have a few more days

then nothing, blank, everything you just went through is erased

Kate

voice2bheard
Senior Member

since 2007-10-19

Posts 591
New York

1 posted 2008-02-25 10:44 AM

This poem is about living right now

Kate

r v wooo
Senior Member

since 2007-08-07

Posts 656

2 posted 2008-02-25 12:10 PM

been there ...done that! enjoyed the refections in your writing...caused me to think about my nephew, matt. most of his life was spent in a coma. he died in january at the age of 47. at that time he was the longest living comatose person in the country. sometimes death is a relief for the living as well as for the one who dies...my 50 year re-union is this summer!...but i intend to remain functional a little while longer>

Mystress May
Member

since 2007-10-25

Posts 296
Taunton, MA

3 posted 2008-02-25 08:17 PM

Kate... I love how the ending is so abrupt... as in reality. Chilling. I think you could expand upon this... I believe that you could put a lot more 'moments' in it, as life is so full of them.

Fabulous doll!

~~~May~~~

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

4 posted 2008-02-25 11:39 PM

wow the ending sentence just like left me hanging like saying "what thats it?" hmm the ending could be more umm idk dramatic?? but thats just my opinion

voice2bheard
Senior Member

since 2007-10-19

Posts 591
New York

5 posted 2008-02-26 10:40 AM

Well I guess you guys are confused about the ending the ending is suppose to be there at the hospital in the bed and right after the doctor told the person that it would only be a few more days they passed away right then and there.

Kate

voice2bheard
Senior Member

since 2007-10-19

Posts 591
New York

6 posted 2009-12-16 04:31 AM

YUP ALL HAPPENING TO ME I GUESS?

Kate

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