Dark Poetry #4 |
A Full Moon Death (in 3's) |
Treagal Junior Member
since 2008-01-08
Posts 38 |
A Full Moon Death Swirling flowing liquid Oozing, creeping slowly Lying face down Eyes glisten brightly Cramping, crackling skin Peeling outer layer Blank wide face Mouth gaping open Numbing pain throughout. An induced stasis with uninduced cringing. Shrieking, wailing bats Bell toll creepers Clouds hued blue Full moon light Shadowed swaying trees Rooted deep down. Howling for blood Midnight creatures coming- His dread revealed. Clicking claws torment Snarling gutteral yips Searing, painful stabs Sharpened playful nails Keen edged teeth Feeling the crunch Breath fading, faltering Warping body shape Loosing form rapidly A blank stare Inability to cry Limp limbed retching. Non remorseful mouths Ripping, shredding, chomping crash of limbs dragged feet first Crying for a savior. With no hope. With no future. Pacified. Putrified. |
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EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
oh yeah..... oh yeah.... me likey ! ! ! Well done. This one needs no critiquing. It is already perfect. |
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dragoon Junior Member
since 2008-01-09
Posts 19 |
Very nice indeed. You put some decent thought into it and got decent results. |
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Twilight Warrior Member
since 2007-02-22
Posts 106The World That Never Was |
I've never seen this style before. This was an excellent write. I like how the title revealed what was actually going on. "One last drink and the bottle breaks, returning us to the dust from whence we came" |
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Jaki H Member
since 2008-01-19
Posts 232NJ, USA |
WOW... this is pretty much one of the best poems ive read here so far!!! good job!!!! |
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Treagal Junior Member
since 2008-01-08
Posts 38 |
Thank you for your inspiring comments! I still think there are ways to make it even better, and am working furiously to achieve that. |
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