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Dark Poetry #4
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greysolace
Member
since 2006-03-27
Posts 71


0 posted 2007-11-11 10:02 PM



Sorrow floods the soul
And though I know it’s unnecessary
I can’t hold back the onslaught
Wave after wave overwhelms me
And I stumble back into my mood
Of indifference detrimental to the mind
Not caring whether I eat
Not caring whether I sleep
Not wishing to do anything for myself
A fasting of the worst kind
Segregating myself from the joy of life
From fellowship and light
As I go with the flow into the shadows
Sad tunes blaring in my ears
As I transport myself away
To a land of tears
And of suffering
No smile touches my lips
Regardless of their proclivity to do such
Only the darkness enters my mind,
Coldness seeping through my veins
To encompass my entire being
And I let it
Shoving off to sea with no rudder
No mast
No compass
Looking simply for a storm and a bad time,
Numb to the danger I face
Looking for the loudest the volume can go
Before I can no longer think

~~Poetry is written emotion~~
greysolace
amaya the phoenix
Onyx Dragon

© Copyright 2007 Mekeda DuBard - All Rights Reserved
Mystress May
Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296
Taunton, MA
1 posted 2007-11-11 11:04 PM


Hey doll... I feel that this is very 'disconnected'. It doesn't seem to flow. The words are great... it just seems as though your heart isn't connected to the words you are writing. Does that make sense? Or perhaps I am just sensing a deep desolation?

Our scars are the foundation for what we have become

greysolace
Member
since 2006-03-27
Posts 71

2 posted 2007-11-11 11:11 PM


you have a point. as I reread it after typing it, I noticed it too. Despite this, I didn't have the heart to change it. That's the way it flowed out so I'm cool with it. I suppose a little imagination could smooth it out a bit...lol

~~Poetry is written emotion~~
greysolace
amaya the phoenix
Onyx Dragon

Mystress May
Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296
Taunton, MA
3 posted 2007-11-11 11:21 PM


I have poems like that... they ARE the moment that they were written and to change it would be to lose that moment. If that made any sense to you haha.

Our scars are the foundation for what we have become

Songbird
Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184
Missouri
4 posted 2008-02-03 05:45 AM


I have felt that way many times. It is something I feel I need to fight but sometimes that is too much effort.
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