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Dark Poetry #4
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THIS IS NO DREAM
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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THIS IS NO DREAM |
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Seeker72 Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387Oregon USA |
THIS IS NO DREAM . Born without asking Forced into the world screaming our defiance It goes out to deaf ears All eyes looking on at the marvel of the life created this day Our screams go unanswered as they wash away the protective coat we had carried since time began We carry those screams with us, as we grow older Sometimes we remember them Most do not We are taught to believe that those screams are the lungs filling with the glory of everything around The glory of God Of man Of the very fabric of creation The sad fact is those screams They do not celebrate man As every babe is born they scream the mantra The world over they scream the same thing The loss They scream the loss of God Loss of the words whispered as they slept They know it As once we did They know that from this point on they are on their own As we now are Those stories of perfection vanish in the coming winds Those softly spoken words that warmed you totally Gone This is no dream we live This is no lie we were told This is just It is us It is what we have made it No Angels to save the lost I see no miracles I hear no words of wisdom from the son of a carpenter Those days have past As Judas has past Hell beckons As Heaven motions Earth falls As man triumphs Humanity crumbles As the world dies This dream This hideous dream we strive for This dream we live in Never wishing to wake from Reality is such a harsh mother Forever beating the child Trying desperately To wake us from this dream [This message has been edited by Seeker72 (10-31-2007 12:36 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2007 Christopher Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
read it backwards...almost all the way up, it reads good...until about..."Nor the explosion of new life" but that just may be me, backwards  just the lines, read them in reverse...not the actual words backwards... |
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Mystress May Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296Taunton, MA |
Sea.... I read it from bottom to top as you suggested.... you're right! Seeker... another great piece! |
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Seeker72 Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387Oregon USA |
Thank you guys! I wondered if anyone would actually read it backwards. It's hard at first but once you try it goes better the second time round. I did this, believe it or not drunk, I thought of the continuation of life, from death comes rebirth. We do strange things when we drink... ;-) Though as Sea did point out I do need to work on a few lines. Thanks again. |
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Seeker72 Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387Oregon USA |
I removed the line "Nor" Yet there still are a few points that feel rough. Any Ideas? I must also point out I didn't write it to read both ways intentionally, I realized it once I floated through the last 5 lines that it read backwards and changed a few words to make it read more smoothly. I wish I could write like that while knowing it sadly... I'm not that good. ;-) |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
yeah, now reading it in reverse, it's really cool both ways...that's neat.  |
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Mystress May Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296Taunton, MA |
Seeker.... you are amazing. Every time I read your words my chest swells and my throat tightens. (That is a good thing, for the record)! |
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Seeker72 Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387Oregon USA |
Mystress May. You're words are too kind, thank you very much. |
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