Dark Poetry #4 |
A WHISPER IN THE NIGHT |
voice2bheard Senior Member
since 2007-10-19
Posts 591New York |
Its eleven at night, and I can't sleep I'm thinking about you, you're all I see I look out the window, the sky dark and clear thers no shooting star, to wish you were near I open the door and feel a rush of cold air smoothly goes by me, but noones there I go outside, but theres no light I wrap my coat tightly around me, on this freezing cold night I walk in the road, following its path then something gets a hold of me, tightly grasped its just the wind, I say to myself as I turn around, and theres noone else I continue to walk, since theres noone I know but feel someones still following me, a haunting shadow please leave me alone, just go away as I look all around, thats all I say and as I start to head back home I still feel that I'm not alone and as I lay down, I say goodnight a whisper "I love you", then turn out the light |
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© Copyright 2007 Kate - All Rights Reserved | |||
voice2bheard Senior Member
since 2007-10-19
Posts 591New York |
This poem was about a dream I had don't know exactly how I wrote it?? I started out writing it, but then it was as if, something took over me and starting writing itself?? Hope someone likes it?? |
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midnightdreamer Member
since 2008-02-03
Posts 309Roy,ut |
ok. i know this was posted a long time ago. but who wouldn't want to read this!!!???? it's amazing! Great work!! i know its like you start out writing but in the end your not the one writing midnightdreamer "It was heaven........right in the center of hell" Bella from New Moon |
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marcel Senior Member
since 2003-03-02
Posts 660az, usa |
creative piece of writing |
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Seeker72 Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387Oregon USA |
Hey V2b. I really liked this poem, it felt a little stuttered in parts, almost like you lost the flow of your dreams thoughts. Still a damn good read, but you might want to go through and sharpen the edges a little. |
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BeyaK Member
since 2008-08-07
Posts 126Philippines |
I really like reading this one. Nice job! |
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voice2bheard Senior Member
since 2007-10-19
Posts 591New York |
Thanks you guys this poem was one I wrote when I first started writing glad you like it and thanks for the advice!! Kate |
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Revon Junior Member
since 2008-08-29
Posts 15 |
I loved this poem. Enjoyed reading it |
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racer-boy New Member
since 2008-08-31
Posts 9united states, tx |
that must have been a trippy dream lol live now |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
I get those feelings sometimes...most of mine are from some connection with someone I love. Enjoyed "...buried way beneath the sheets |
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voice2bheard Senior Member
since 2007-10-19
Posts 591New York |
Thank you all for loving my work!! Kate |
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HeliaHeart Member
since 2008-11-16
Posts 53Georgia |
Oh this was good! Very nice and creative piece of literature... ~Lia |
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GothicCherry Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471TN |
This is very pretty and flows wonderfully. Love it! |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Oh wow!! I had the whole thing pictured in my mind and the ending just scared the crap out of me.. lol Great write!! -Zach I'D RATHER BE ANYTHING BUT ORDINARY!!!! XP |
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voice2bheard Senior Member
since 2007-10-19
Posts 591New York |
of course one of the many favorite of my fellow poets!! Kate |
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