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Dark Poetry #4
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Blood and Rain
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Blood and Rain |
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Sekishu Junior Member
since 2007-09-17
Posts 36 |
I just joined these forums hoping to become better at writing poetry so please comment I saw it happen Such a depressing story Their tale ended so horribly You stole her dreams Now I'll laugh as she steals yours The lightning streaks the sky, and the rain pours A climactic setting It will mark the beggining of her forgetting And the end of her living She'll never be forgiving All of your theiving Thats what happens when you rip out all feeling Sometimes even when one lives through torture They lose their human composure Blood swirls into the rain that continues pouring If you can hear the demons stirring Then your not their victim Who were you to condemn All of her love The angels above? The demons in which you embraced? Neither will save you now You'll be crushed by a heart thats been encased With stone and hate She met her fate And now you'll meet yours The blood and rain It Pours |
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| © Copyright 2007 Sekishu - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Dear Sekishu: First of all, Welcome to Passions! I know that because you are open to constructive critiques, you are already able to take on the nuances of writing poetry, for which everyone has some opinion on how it is to be done. You will find that our Critical Analysis Forum will be especially helpful as you advance in your writing techniques. As for myself, my biggest bug-a-boo about writing is to always spell check and grammar check yourself. Nothing stops a reader faster when it "appears" that a poet doesn't care about their spelling and/or grammar, and I sense that this is not how you want your work seen. Now, please be so kind as to check your email for a Very Special Message! " It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love ~*~ KRJ [This message has been edited by Sunshine (09-19-2007 04:05 PM).] |
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taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
I liked this. .... Thats what happens when you rip out all feeling Sometimes even when one lives through torture They lose their human composure Blood swirls into the rain that continues pouring Yeah. It's better to be a lion for a day than a sheep all your life. |
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