Dark Poetry #4 |
After my Death |
MindBeyondBody Junior Member
since 2007-08-02
Posts 14Florida,United States |
At 2:30AM I Died Tragically at a young age looks like the book on my life has come to its final page nobody really cared nobody cried not even one tear,no more fear as i pass onto the other world things become so clear all i am now is another dead black youth just another death statistic as i look back at my life its sad and funny trying to chase the american dream being to materialistic looks like i died trying to find something but at the end of it i failed now im just part of the past just a lost soul roaming the earth was i it part of my fate but its to late I had my chance to live life now its gone like the leaves blowing in the wind |
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© Copyright 2007 Konrod Clarke - All Rights Reserved | |||
Twilight Warrior Member
since 2007-02-22
Posts 106The World That Never Was |
I liked this poem a lot. The only thing...you need to construct it better. Put the different "lines" on different lines. Capitalize your I's as well. There is nothing wrong with the words of the poem, just the organization. "One last drink and the bottle breaks, returning us to the dust from whence we came" |
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