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Dark Poetry #4

Storm Warning

moondogz
Member

since 2007-05-01

Posts 397
Great White North

0 posted 2007-08-20 12:32 PM

Storm Warning

There's a storm brewing
up on Dopplegangers Ridge.

As the shadow of darkness
falls upon my kin.

I'm inside my cabin
bolting the door.

When the bible leaps
from the shelf to the floor.

Time to sprinkle
some holy water 'round.

Before that funnel cloud
touches the ground.

There goes the stove
there goes the fridge.

Now there's hell to pay
up on Dopplegangers Ridge.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

1 posted 2007-08-21 02:50 PM

I really liked this. The flow worked well too.
Krysti

BrittanyJ
Member

since 2007-06-03

Posts 461
Come find me?

2 posted 2007-08-22 12:36 PM

hmm, i liked this

The rhyming was good, and it flowed really well. Nicely done!

So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart.

BobbyBoy
Junior Member

since 2007-08-22

Posts 21
West Yorkshire

3 posted 2007-08-22 12:58 PM

I liked the simplicity in style of the piece, how you can draw your own images of what the crisis event is and what is brewing upon the hill. The poem especially works in what it doesn't say-- very good indeed, it sets the atmostphere of suspense very well.

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