Ill be waiting............

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the amazing emo kid
New Member

since 2007-05-23

Posts 6
South Carolina

0 posted 2007-05-23 08:32 PM

I know your leaving soon

And ill be waiting

I know its what you have to do

And ill be waiting

but, It hurts so much cause i love you

Ill be waiting

maybe its selfish but i dont want you to go

Ill be waiting

But still the point is

Ill be waiting for you.........

Ill be waiting for you to come back. waiting for the sight of you and the happiness i lack.

Ill be thinking of all we have and all we'll do,and most of all the thought of YOU!

Ill be wanting and wishing to hold you tight while im all alone late at night.

while your gone ill be praying for you and hoping to god you still love me too.

You say im not losing you but thats not how it feels. your going away and it doesnt seem real.

Maybe my memories will carry me through and someday lead me back to you.

Ill just have to trust my hopes and dreams and try to ignore all the silent screams.

Ill be waiting for you as long as it takes and waiting for the happiness that only love makes.

WAITING.......

I'll ALWAYS BE WAITING......... I love you.

Abbeon
Member

since 2006-11-30

Posts 228
Curiousity, and wonder

1 posted 2007-05-26 12:39 PM

i like it no correction i LOVE this poem it has such meaning and truth to it. oh wow. im speechless

WOW
Abbeon

stormdancer
Junior Member

since 2007-05-10

Posts 31
state of confustion

2 posted 2007-05-27 01:53 PM

Pretty good, though the all caps make it look amiture, imho, and the extra ...s. But just my opinion, an elipsis should only be three, but if you want it for efect...

lol your name...emos don't think themselves amazying fyi. Don't they generaly hate themselves?

BrittanyJ
Member

since 2007-06-03

Posts 461
Come find me?

3 posted 2007-06-06 10:22 AM

I really liked it

Hope to read more.

rascalx
Senior Member

since 1999-08-25

Posts 590
Florence, SC, USA

4 posted 2007-06-09 05:33 AM

Overall, I like this. Your words put your emotions out there perfectly - a strong statement of your love. As for the structure of the poem itself, I especially like the second half but that may have to do with the fact that I'm a self-admitted rhyme addict (lol). I'm not sure I'd use capitals at the end but I think the pacing, bracketing, and usage of "....." works well here. A good effort and I hope to see your other stuff here. Later dude

"People say I should learn some self control; but I just want to exorcise my soul"

"I'm still waiting on a revelation here in Never-Never land..."

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