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navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » pain
Dark Poetry #4
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tecoyah
Member
since 2003-11-16
Posts 83
NY
0 posted 2003-11-27 07:56 PM

paper cuts this lemon drenched eye
witness the rape of lifes true love
as mother bleeds under evils knife
hope so far gone , I cant seem to try

bile soaked taste buds waste away
mind losing pieces to old age
cast off by all known souls
so hated even the dog wont stay
© Copyright 2003 Tecoyah - All Rights Reserved
Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
1 posted 2003-11-29 08:12 AM

such descriptive words!
coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077
2 posted 2003-11-29 10:26 AM

You have captured the pain and presented it in some very vivid imagery.

Powerful words.

coyote 8)
Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
3 posted 2003-11-30 10:28 PM

the length seems friendly, a quick read perhaps, but the words are deep with a richness and density to them.
well crafted.
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navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » pain

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