Dark Poetry #4 |
A Dark Time |
mged Junior Member
since 2007-03-29
Posts 39ND |
A black will an emptiness to fill a beating life a dark strife the end of a end the worlds fall the devil will rise to come and kill but only one will free us even in the end all will fall |
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mged Junior Member
since 2007-03-29
Posts 39ND |
Thank you all that posted for welcomeing me please kept letting me know if i can improve on anything Thanks |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
the end of a(n) end you forgot the n but thats all I can see.. I liked this although the end didn't seem to have the same flow... hunnie ~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~ |
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Kitherion Member
since 2006-08-01
Posts 181Johannesburg |
Just a teeny, tiiny suggestion... try to either rhyme thougout or not rhyme at all. Other than that I thought it was awesome. "Our Father who art in Heaven... Hallowed be thy name..." |
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unholyjudgement Member
since 2007-02-27
Posts 116Wherever my soul takes me next |
Well i loved it. It flowed like ancient prophecy unknown to all until it was to late. My mind is like lightning |
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