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Idontmindyouundermyskin
Junior Member

since 2007-01-29

Posts 32

0 posted 2007-01-29 10:46 PM

Angels gracelessly placed
In blighted corners of the world
But nothing good comes from it.
Corruption still remains
And the greedy still count their gains.

Heroes as scarce as heaven’s touch
Women fight to keep their children hushed.
Desecrated homes defiled by man’s hand.
In search of what he can never find.

Persistence feeds their hunger
Remuneration darkens their ravenous eyes.
Execute the ones with no answers,
Torture them before they die.

Run to where they can’t find you,
Let the darkness shadow your eyes,
Anything to keep them away,
Because when they find you
It will end this spiteful day.

Kira Aso
Member

since 2006-09-26

Posts 351
Closer to Hell...

1 posted 2007-01-31 12:03 PM

Welcome to Passions in Poetry!
Very awesome job you did here. Totally loved the whole of it.

Keep writing so I can keep reading!!!
Luv and best wishes,
Kira

P.S. Nice first post!

Idontmindyouundermyskin
Junior Member

since 2007-01-29

Posts 32

2 posted 2007-01-31 04:52 PM

Thanks Kira.
I'm sure ill write more I just work too much these days. I always have time to read though so im off to read some now.
Thanks again.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2007-01-31 05:41 PM

Great first post I welcome you to Passions. Best times ever

hope to read more soon...
hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

UseTheIllusion
Member

since 2006-02-06

Posts 223
In a state of limbo

4 posted 2007-01-31 08:11 PM

Excellent work idontmindyou. Some good social commentary (if I read it correctly).

Idontmindyouundermyskin
Junior Member

since 2007-01-29

Posts 32

5 posted 2007-02-01 12:06 PM

Thank you both. And i can't wait to read some of your poems also.

One question. What do you mean by Socail Commentary?

UseTheIllusion
Member

since 2006-02-06

Posts 223
In a state of limbo

6 posted 2007-02-01 03:14 PM

By social commentary, I mean that you make statements about the state of society...for example:

Corruption still remains
And the greedy still count their gains.

or

Angels gracelessly placed
In blighted corners of the world
But nothing good comes from it.

or

Desecrated homes defiled by man’s hand.

Idontmindyouundermyskin
Junior Member

since 2007-01-29

Posts 32

7 posted 2007-02-01 03:48 PM

Oh i see. Well thank you very much.

lovergurl
Member

since 2007-05-08

Posts 59
va

8 posted 2007-05-26 03:05 PM

wow.
nothing else but.. wow.

Becca.

Abbeon
Member

since 2006-11-30

Posts 228
Curiousity, and wonder

9 posted 2007-05-28 08:58 PM

Hi and welcome to passions. i hope to read more of your work i already like it. please some day tell me what you think of mine. can't wait to read more.

Smiles from Abbeon.

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