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Dark Poetry #4

Who I Am

greysolace
Member

since 2006-03-27

Posts 71

0 posted 2007-01-11 10:25 PM

I just wish there was something I could do
To cease these constantly conflicting emotions.
Why do I feel like my weakness will push everyone away?
Yet when I’m gone again, my only wish is to be weak
And let everyone help me.
I think that I’m beginning to annoy people
Since I come to them with so much pain
And ask them to help me lift my load.
When they say they don’t mind, I think they’re lying.
Feeling like a burden and hating myself for it,
I try to stand strong. Prove to them that I can manage.
While under my efforts, my world falls apart.
Is there no one I can talk to without feeling like this?
I think I’m a perfectionist.
That I should be the perfect little girl
That everyone loves and can handle her problems.
Unfortunately I think I only meet half of those requirements.
I’m so caught up in being accepted, I forget that I can’t be perfect.
I’m afraid.
Afraid that everyone will leave me at the 1st sign of weakness.
I wanted excitement and this is what I get.
I get sleepless nights and foodless days.
I look to find a source of this pain,
Find someone to blame it on,
But though many factors contribute to it,
I’m left with me to blame.
But I don’t feel like it’s my fault.
I don’t know what to do or how to stop it.
Perhaps I’m still in shock
Of how real this all is to me.
I was able to live a nice little carefree life
Until the pot finally boiled over.
And I knew it was coming. Prophesized about it
In poem and in word and in deed.
I knew it was inevitable but tried to believe it wasn’t.
That it was simply a thought and would never happen.
But now I see.
The truth of it all is so incomprehensible
That I’m crushing beneath its weight.
And no, this is no moment of revelation.
Simply a moment of realization.
Because now I know that no matter what else goes on,
This is the end of my life as I know it.

~~Poetry is written emotion~~
greysolace
amaya the phoenix
Onyx Dragon

Kira Aso
Member

since 2006-09-26

Posts 351
Closer to Hell...

1 posted 2007-01-13 11:20 PM

Oh my...
Everything about this poem hits straight to home with me. It's like I'm looking at myself. You did an amazing job expressing yourself(I'm quite envious).

Hugs and hershey bars!!!
Luv Kira

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