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midnightdreamer
Member

since 2008-02-03

Posts 309
Roy,ut

0 posted 2008-02-11 07:39 PM

The Thing

I had a best friend
I had everything
Then it all was taken away from me

I was alone
I was afraid
I was hurt
I was icy and cold to everyone around me
I didn’t know what was right from wrong
I was lost

I didn’t want to be talked to
So there I sat
All alone
Then you came and opened the door a crack
You that a stream of light through to guide me
You reopened my heart
You reopened my eyes
You reopened me
You let me free

Now that I’ve seen
I must redeem
I must fall back into nothingness
To await my turn once again
Wait a turn from the darkness
To let “It” feed is the job for me
“It” eats away happiness
And eats away the ones that are weak enough for It to get to
For It to over come them and take them as well as me

And “It” turns out loneliness, and hurt
Which comes to me
I do not wish to do this
But I owe my life to “It”
My life, I must obey

I had a best friend
I had everything
Then it was taken away from me

1poeticjustice
Junior Member

since 2008-02-04

Posts 14

1 posted 2008-02-12 09:45 AM

Deep and haunting, I like it.

I am a fan of Poe,it reminded me of him

Good work.

midnightdreamer
Member

since 2008-02-03

Posts 309
Roy,ut

2 posted 2008-02-13 06:37 PM

Thanks!! That was the point to be haunting anyway! Glad you liked it.
midnightdreamer

KgIRL
Junior Member

since 2007-11-14

Posts 14
australia

3 posted 2008-02-15 06:43 AM

this poem reminds me of something that happened in my life, i love your poem!

midnightdreamer
Member

since 2008-02-03

Posts 309
Roy,ut

4 posted 2008-02-15 05:41 PM

thank you!!!

midnightdreamer

black beautiful eyes looking back at me showing me, no fear will show.

Mystress May
Member

since 2007-10-25

Posts 296
Taunton, MA

5 posted 2008-02-20 11:34 PM

Great write, doll..... the 'nothingness'... I know about that. I use the 'nothing' in a lot of my works. And you described it well.... it just swallows everything in its path. Good job!

Our scars are the foundation for what we have become

megaskull
Junior Member

since 2008-02-04

Posts 11

6 posted 2008-02-21 02:12 AM

I think I felt a soul burn reading this one. (It's like a muscle workout, only with my spirit) I'm feeling the burn!

midnightdreamer
Member

since 2008-02-03

Posts 309
Roy,ut

7 posted 2008-02-27 08:16 AM

Thanks May!! Funny Megaskull! thanks!
midnightdreamer

eternally_singing
Member

since 2007-12-18

Posts 123
PA, United States

8 posted 2008-03-01 01:36 PM

Very well done! At the end I loved the repetition of

“I had a best friend
I had everything
Then it was taken away from me”

At night a candle's brighter than the sun

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

9 posted 2008-03-01 08:50 PM

Great poem

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

10 posted 2008-03-01 09:48 PM

to me it sounds like your writing about depression.. but thats what i think. great poem. i found it pretty huanting as well.

~Zach~

midnightdreamer
Member

since 2008-02-03

Posts 309
Roy,ut

11 posted 2008-03-02 10:10 PM

yes it may seem like i was depressed but this i wrote when i was stinkin bored. glad you liked it!!!
midnightdreamer

black beautiful eyes looking back at me telling me, no fear will show.

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