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Heavenly doors
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Heavenly doors |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA 
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Why must I fear men, but not God? This violent onset of sadness has me in a trance, Remember me as I loose my sanity, Lost my virginity as evil clouded my thoughts, By any means, I wanted to end my misery, I am lost in this life, and God help me find peace, As I breathe in this darkness, my mind is full of fame, Which I never attained, but kept dreaming of it everyday, My life is not for me to love, I feel tangled up and My mind is so hazy, as if I been tripping of sherm smoke, Each day I wake up and promise to live with some hope, I fear my end before I realize that I need to be free, My mind gives me only rest, when I sleep at night, But soon as I wake and I can think, I fall down again, So tired and weary, I rather be blind, and deaf, Then hear this misery, I cry no more tears, My pain grabs me and shakes me at every step, Who knows, when will it ever stop? God, you been a witness to the times I tried to do right, And the time I snuck one past you, But you see it all, And know that part of me is shady, so afraid to have a baby, What harm will I bring if part of me is in someone else? Please take me away from this madness, and this pain that I feel, Give me a moment full of pure pleasure, and I ask nothing more, I promise you to live this life in your name, if only you take me out this game, And rescue me as I am lost soul, who does not know the right path, But I wonder why, you leave me alone, and then I realize, that I must Fall and stumble, to find my path to you, and your heavenly doors. I speak insanity. I write fantasy. I sleep reality. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Ronil B Tataria - All Rights Reserved | |||
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lil cherry Member
since 2002-10-02
Posts 86Ont, Can. |
could use some editing, there are some gramatical errors. i like the overall idea but i think simplicity could be your friend. keep up the good work. |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
Well I agree grammer could a bit of a touch. plus it feels alittle forced. The flow just don't seem natural. other then taht I liked the idea and the message behind it. ON a side note do you remember me? I use to be on here alot. I've been using other sites and getting my book published. Hit me back and check out my work. I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
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