Dark Poetry #4 |
Ode to Crazy |
Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Ode to Crazy I am sorry I'm not perfect But I have come so much farther Then you had ever hoped for me It would be a lie To say that my fear or my anxiety has now subdued Therefore I'll still trip With grace I'll smile Just knowing falling isn't failing I have my demon I call him Carlos -Juju -Juju -"So you found a girl Who thinks really deep thougts What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silient all these Years, Tori Amos [This message has been edited by Juju (10-16-2006 01:06 AM).] |
||
© Copyright 2006 Juju - All Rights Reserved | |||
hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
Therefore I'll still trip With grace I'll smile Just knowing falling isn't failing. i think this stanza just made the whole poem come together but it could be just me i liked this poem... it portrayed a lot of feelings. nicely written hunnie* A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~ |
||
Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Thank you, But I'm unsure about the usage of subdued. It might not be a word. I was looking at my dictionary and I didn't seee it in that form... I might have to change it. I need to think of a better replacement. I also don't like the "ings". I plan on changing the stanza. I thought it would work, but looking back at it it is messy. -Juju -Juju -"So you found a girl Who thinks really deep thougts What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silient all these Years, Tori Amos [This message has been edited by Juju (10-16-2006 01:08 AM).] |
||
shatteredsilver Member
since 2005-03-31
Posts 63middle of nowhere |
Therefore I'll still trip With grace I'll smile Just knowing falling isn't failing And it's very hard to tell yourself falling isn't failing... I think subduded is fine (and I believe it is a word. Of course, that might just be in my head) Other than that, I might rework some of the beginning. But the rest is very nice. |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |