Dark Poetry #4 |
Martyr |
JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
Against the blanched landscape of sorrow and shadow, the season of ash darkens his image, carves on his is features the blank face of death. Carrying a scarlet chasuble, he waits by the rim of the pool of remembering where lichen and moss green stagnant water that flows from the fountain of loss. Above in the emptiness, a flutter of wings, swallows and doves transform the sky into a nimbus that darkens the sun. As he stoops to drink from the pool of reflections, time seals the moment as he becomes his own monument in the still garden of marble and stone |
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© Copyright 2006 JenniferMaxwell - All Rights Reserved | |||
lanaia74 Member
since 2006-08-25
Posts 67 |
Superb! Bravo! Applauds! |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hi Jennifer, Interesting piece! I like how it leaves some of it up to the imagination of the reader instead of telling us exactly. Not only does it bug you that you don't know what's happened, you also read the poem over and over, hoping for some clue to the story... If you know what I mean? I'm not sure about the title though, martyr, to me, is something more of ... Well, more like Justin Martyr dying for his faith, I could be missing something or just wrong in this assumption... I'll have to read it again... Thanks for sharing for this wonderful piece! "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
No offence but in reading this again this line, "carves on his is features " doesn't make much sense to me. It's the first stanza 5th line I believe? "I pray thee, O God, that I may be beautiful within." –Socrates @-->--- |
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JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
Stargal, thanks so much for reading and commenting. This was a quick portrait, admittedly rather veiled, of a close family member who suffers from severe and chronic depression and refuses any sort of treatment for it. Consequently, he lives as sort of a "martyr" to the illness and all the misery it brings him. About the "carves on his is features" line -the "season of ash" means Lent (as in Ash Wednesday), the time of year when this person frequently suffers almost psychotic episodes of severe depression that leave him hollow-cheeked and skeleton-like. |
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SouthernJustice Member
since 2007-12-15
Posts 159 |
Excellene Personified, NOW, Im somewhere I dont have to feel like a machine. ANT ITS GREAT! Hey, BTW I got a new bicycle, Dont have to walk so much any more. My back and my kidneys and my legs (and my knees) are teeling on me quite a bit though, LOL. Wonderful to see a dear freind at PIP. "SJ" (LF) |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Dying for a purpose is uncomfortle. Sometimes it makes one queezy. -GIS Keep your pants on, Jesus loves you |
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