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Dark Poetry #4
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Wings
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Wings |
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Bobomo Junior Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 35 |
Thru the air I soar on wings crafted of sorrow Ebony black, destroying tomorrow High I fly, above hope and joy They’re reduced to the size of a child’s toy I give them up, I fly even higher I think I’m free but the clouds are a mire My wings become chains, I plummet towards earth Forced to reckon, broken down to my birth Through love I was forged, the mating of souls There were no plans and there were no goals Passion has twisted the fabric of space A fiery explosion left me in its place My parents I am, the two made one Torments of the past suddenly done Thru them I realize who I should be I panic, I scream, I try to break free Trapped in my fall, wrapped in my chains I summon my strength, I cleanse my pains With a mighty shout, I shatter the ties That bound my arms and covered my eyes I spread my wings, now vibrant with light I feel my courage, regained my sight My weakened soul now bustles with power The strength of my family, my fears now cower I float to the ground and walk with pride My friends, my family are by my side They’ve given a gift, now I can see The love, the wisdom, the will to be me Edit: I changed "powerful shout" to "mighty shout" [This message has been edited by Bobomo (07-25-2006 06:03 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Bobomo - All Rights Reserved | |||
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the quell Member
since 2006-07-19
Posts 144Liverpool, UK |
That was stunning, truly. I found the ending uplifting, but the first part *really* reminded me of the myth of Icarus. The first couple of stanzas especially; beautiful imagery |
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trUstNooNe Member
since 2006-05-21
Posts 91 |
Amazing...truely amazing...i love it... |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
"Thru the air I soar on wings crafted of sorrow Ebony black, destroying tomorrow High I fly, above hope and joy They’re reduced to the size of a child’s toy I give them up, I fly even higher" -Wow! This is deff one of my favorite poems by you, even though i've only seen a couple. This one just blows everything out of the water, I love the imagery in it! The emotions, the wording, not too many hard words to understand but words that are complex enough to make the poem interesting. Simply amazing job on your part! I can't wait to read more and more like this I hope... Thanks for sharing  @-->--- |
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Digital_Hell Member
since 2006-06-05
Posts 202Amidst black roses |
 Absolutely beautiful. Very powerfull imagery and great emotions. Very nice! Brutally honest id have to say i unashamedly love it! hells gate reads Abandon hope all ye that enter here |
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beautyincalvary Member
since 2006-07-13
Posts 98 |
I really like this poem, and from me, that's a huge compliment. It was very well done, the stanzas flow and I couldn't find any true errors. I couldn't figure out the stanza where you used "regained my sight," just in that regained was in past tense, but maybe you meant it to be. All in all, a very fine poem. |
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greysolace Member
since 2006-03-27
Posts 71 |
this simply enthralled me. i love flying with wings so the title drew me in. the poem itself got me addicted. amazingly awesome. so much is felt in it. i can relate to every word. ~~Poetry is written emotion~~ |
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Bobomo Junior Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 35 |
Thank you all for the feedback! I didn't mean regained to be past tense, thank you for pointing that out to me. I'm going to have to ponder that stanza. |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Have been reading your poetry, and enjoying as you spread out a little. The couplets seem to be a favorite style, and you do them well. I can't help but wonder what flavor would come in free verse. You seem to have a lot locked up in your heart. Nice work. TD |
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