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Dark Poetry #4
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Hanson
New Member
since 2006-07-21
Posts 3
New York, United States

0 posted 2006-07-21 10:11 PM



"She's just trying to be beautiful," said she
As she caressed the unisightly thing wistfully.
It was a thing of dark wings and disordered markings;
It was too light and too small to be considered a viable creature.
"How poetic," came the sardonic reply from her companion.
She turned to look at him, and
"Cynic," she accused, though smiling.


© Copyright 2006 Hanson - All Rights Reserved
zaz
Junior Member
since 2006-07-09
Posts 26

1 posted 2006-07-21 11:38 PM


I liked this, a bat came to mind. would like to see it expanded.
trUstNooNe
Member
since 2006-05-21
Posts 91

2 posted 2006-07-22 07:56 AM


it was one of those poems that after you read it and go on to the other one your still thinking about it..nice job!
the quell
Member
since 2006-07-19
Posts 144
Liverpool, UK
3 posted 2006-07-22 09:56 AM


That's one of the most interesting pieces I've ever read, I think. It was so unusual. I love it when a poem makes me sit back and think 'how on earth did they come up with that?!' To me, that's the mark of true originality.

Where black, bleeding roses await the Thirteen,
I see not the stars, but the darkness between

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
4 posted 2006-07-23 01:33 AM


Hey Hanson,

WeLcOmE to PIP!~ I hope you enjoy your stay with us, it's always nice to see new faces around here.

Awesome first post! So very unusual to see a poem like this, very enjoyable when we do though. It kind of shakes us up and inspires us to start writing more original stuff and not so much cliche.

I liked your descriptiveness of thing in this; it adds so much to the poem!

This was a very interesting read, I’d love to be able to read more of your stuff in the near future, keep posting… Thanks a bunch for sharing this amazing piece with us

@-->---

Philmont
Member
since 2004-01-10
Posts 61

5 posted 2006-07-23 02:01 AM


Nice little poem.  It's a bit like a haiku.  You capture a moment and some discussion among the participants.  Good deal.
Venus1974
Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 79
Tennessee, USA
6 posted 2006-07-23 10:26 PM


I liked the fresh atmosphere this poem had too very different from anything Ive seen thanx for sharing

Peace and happiness to us all, Venus

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