Dark Poetry #4 |
Getting over it and taking the lead |
Venus1974 Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 79Tennessee, USA |
They act like its so easy like its a simple task but why is it for them and not me I ask? I have tried to "deal with it " but just can not compete with this ugliness inside some hidden so deep I am ready for healing that really really lasts head on I take it and its dark cold blasts I can take it on beat it down quick only my mind does not let me pick Fighting on my journey I take a bunch of paths so here I am again sailing forward full masts I wanna be free of all of this pain some is understandable but this much is insane I walk along the roadside and fear the worst inside my heart pounds feels it will burst I walk in the shadows - behind the scene trying to avoid what could be whats unseen I want so much to love but how can I when I dont love me This has always been a puzzle to the unknown me how can one say that I do not know the feelings on the inside they grow and they grow Pain and resentment to say the least when I feel these out comes my inner beast Be tough...and take it like a man well excuse me dont think that I can So quit telling me its all just a game inside my world it makes me feel shame I shouldnt feel this way so I am told but I can not help it it is how it did unfold Peace and happiness to us all, Venus |
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© Copyright 2006 Davina Prill - All Rights Reserved | |||
Digital_Hell Member
since 2006-06-05
Posts 202Amidst black roses |
I liked the flow and style of the poem. I really enjoyed reading it. I could relate to some of the feelings here. Well written and definately interesting. Keep it up hells gate reads Abandon hope all ye that enter here |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey Venus1974, Awesome poem! I liked how you set it up in lines and not stanzas, it adds to the look of the poem and the flow. Which, I might add, I also liked the flow in this it was different but very nicely done. I can't really relate to all of this but I also can relate to some. The first two lines I can really relate too! I think you did a great job with this poem. Thanks for sharing, I can't wait to see more @-->--- |
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Venus1974 Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 79Tennessee, USA |
Thanx to both of you...not all of my poetry is dark and depressing but, a large portion of it is...thanx again for the replies Peace and happiness to us all, Venus |
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youngfirefly Junior Member
since 2006-11-30
Posts 12 |
I like what you did with this poem.. I hope that writing poetry allows you to release sone of the feelings that you have inside. I can sort of relate to this poem because when I went through depression very few people understood why I was acting so wierd. I really do hope that you find do someone to help you. |
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Abbeon Member
since 2006-11-30
Posts 228Curiousity, and wonder |
Nice, i could definitely do with a few tips from you thanks -Abbeon |
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mechanical_animal New Member
since 2006-11-30
Posts 7 |
i loved this poem. i can relate better than i would like to and i think i like it so much because i can relate so well. really really good work. |
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Venus1974 Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 79Tennessee, USA |
Thanx everyone for your comments they mean a lot to me. |
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arthur Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678england |
loved it could do with a little tidying but nothing important so good it speaks out arthur |
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Venus1974 Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 79Tennessee, USA |
Arthur would like to know what your suggestions on tidying it up would be thanc, Venus Peace and happiness to us all, Venus |
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RavenSmith Member
since 2007-03-02
Posts 53Oregon |
Nice poem. I understand this much these days and I know for me, letting go of loss is the only way for my own clarity. "Letting Go" saying good riddens to all that held me in prison and realizing that doesnt mean another bar won't come but the ones in the past, are no longer. Nice message in your poem. Enjoyed! ~Best Regards,Raven Smith |
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Venus1974 Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 79Tennessee, USA |
Thank you Raven so true. Peace and happiness to us all, Venus |
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