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Dark Poetry #4

The Damaged Soul

SATURN
Member

since 2004-05-04

Posts 78
ok,us

0 posted 2006-06-23 03:02 AM

inside the Damaged Soul a young girl weeps
inside the Damaged Soul the boy hurts
they want they long for each other
but come no closer to their desire
then they were in the beginning
there chance has come and gone
it will soon come again but
how soon is soon when you
want what you can't have
it hurts inside to see
what you want with
someone else
it aches inside
the pain is unbearable
but you have to deal
until your chance comes
again.

Sorrow
Member

since 2006-06-14

Posts 83
Ireland

1 posted 2006-06-23 09:22 AM

Nice poem SATURN! I like the frustration in it. How the boy and the girl want what they just can't have! I can relate to this.

rockbabe
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 105

2 posted 2006-06-25 05:38 AM

Forbidden Love,
I really enjoyed this , nice form of writing aswell

Bobomo
Junior Member

since 2006-07-15

Posts 35

3 posted 2006-07-15 05:53 PM

Amazing

Venus1974
Member

since 2006-07-15

Posts 79
Tennessee, USA

4 posted 2006-07-15 10:08 PM

can so relate too...nice

Peace and happiness to us all, Venus

trUstNooNe
Member

since 2006-05-21

Posts 91

5 posted 2006-07-22 07:44 AM

nice..you can see the determination and frustration the boy and girl have,i love it...

the quell
Member

since 2006-07-19

Posts 144
Liverpool, UK

6 posted 2006-07-22 10:03 AM

Interesting; I really liked the title 'the Damaged Soul' and the way it was used in the poem. I can really relate to the theme, as well. You made all the longing and frustration seem almost tangible.

Where black, bleeding roses await the Thirteen,
I see not the stars, but the darkness between

SATURN
Member

since 2004-05-04

Posts 78
ok,us

7 posted 2006-08-16 01:46 AM

thanks for your replys. sadly to say b/c i have not been on in a while i dont know a bunch of you. so i will try to read your writing.

       SATURN.

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