Dark Poetry #4 |
I dreamt again last night |
playing.with.crayons Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362Neverland |
He is asleep, his back to me. He is curled up and tugging at his pillow like a child at lost blankets. Like me. I’m in the glossary; I’m the word I have to look up. The word I don’t bother to look up, I just pretend I know what it means. I’m in the doorway. I’m shaking. I’m seething. I’m lonely and he’s left me alone. I dreamt last night He had a gun in one hand, and in the other a lunchbox. He stepped aside, There's a child’s toy couch and a screen. On the screen were the bodies of women. They were beautiful. He’d collected them, just for me. |
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© Copyright 2006 cheye - All Rights Reserved | |||
Fabiani Member
since 2006-05-12
Posts 123Mesa, Az |
i like this poem alot its abstract and i love that in poems i dont see enough of it~ "I'm floating the hoaming pigeon out hell's kitchen window |
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playing.with.crayons Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362Neverland |
Thank you Fabiani for your reply. Yes I spose you could say I was in an abstract state of mind. Cheye |
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niere Member
since 2006-04-23
Posts 77 |
''I’m in the glossary; I’m the word I have to look up. The word I don’t bother to look up, I just pretend I know what it means. '' love that i love the really dream-like qualities to this. when reading it, things feel so convoluted and unreal.... a wonderful piece of work. |
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playing.with.crayons Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362Neverland |
Niere- thank you for your warm comments. and thanks for reading. here's to lovely days ahead. |
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DavidTheLion Junior Member
since 2006-04-06
Posts 36 |
On the screen were the bodies of women. They were beautiful. He’d collected them, just for me Is this a reference to pornography? Makes the poem finish with an almost contrasting feeling, kinda starts cleanish and ends with a tainted feeling (for me anyways!) |
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playing.with.crayons Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362Neverland |
DavidTheLion- No, not a reference to pornography but a reference, rather, to the destruction loving someone can lead to, from heartbreak to turmoil to death, its all connected I suppose. thanks for the interest, and for reading. cheye xxx farewell the ash-tray girl |
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Sorrow Member
since 2006-06-14
Posts 83Ireland |
I love the dream like feel i get when i read this poem. It's beautiful. |
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perfect stranger Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 54on cloud 9 |
he had a gun in one hand,do you think he was going to use it ,and then changed his mind did all this happen to you. |
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playing.with.crayons Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362Neverland |
Sorrow - yeah that's cool cause I was going for a dreamy kind of feel. thanks a bunch for reading. Perfect Stranger - Not exactly happened to me, although the dream is certainly close... I'm not great at explaining what I write, and I can't really answer your question cause I don't exactly know myself! haha. thanks for replying. |
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Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
A very interesting write... A gun in one hand a lunch box in the other...The choice was his..I picture it as angry words on one hand.. or going out to lunch so to speak and ignoring the subject matter that troubled him. Nevertheless the symbolism makes it intriging. |
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