Dark Poetry #4 |
Dollar |
Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Do you dance or die? I know some things can make us high I know a place where we can go Amongst the stars and cardboard homes, But it's late, my dear, And you're losing all with innocence. Well, I don't mind my life, But I don't trust it either God it's cold, but I have a guitar, And a dollar from a stranger. Do you dance or die? I know some things can make us cry I know there's words that we don't say I don't like you anyway, But this is all, my dear, And you're losing it with innocence. I don't know about my life, About drugs, disease and danger But there's a guitar that I can play, And a dollar from a stranger. [A very late night penning, I haven't done rhyme in a while. I haven't done anything for a while.] Come on God, do I seem bulletproof? |
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© Copyright 2006 Courtney - All Rights Reserved | |||
darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
long time no read. i check this forum just to see your name this had such a chili's vibe to it wooop. love it maybe i just love the fact that your writing and you're making me woop which is always a good sign love and miss you darling nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
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niere Member
since 2006-04-23
Posts 77 |
oh this is really really nice. wonderful infact. this poem really makes you think and appreciate and feel guilty all at once... loved it. |
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vampiana Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296Nothing and Nowhere |
golly-gosh this is amazing and brilliant and just ahh you writing stirs such inspiration in me. keep going you rock so hard. xxxx The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return. |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
woah this is sooo cooooooool yay i love ur writing so much rhyming was very good much love x can you find me space inside your bleeding heart? |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
I love this poem.. kinda like a song thing going on.. great writing the last stanza was great.. and the line that says something like "and your' losing it all with innocence" that is like.. a punch for the whole poem great job.. `Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not WHOA about this one but your comments made me like it. Gah, some people just rock, just brighten your day like that.... CK. Hollow. Come on God, do I seem bulletproof? |
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