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Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

0 posted 2006-04-29 09:18 PM

Do you dance or die?
I know some things can make us high
I know a place where we can go
Amongst the stars and cardboard homes,
But it's late, my dear,
And you're losing all with innocence.

Well, I don't mind my life,
But I don't trust it either
God it's cold, but I have a guitar,
And a dollar from a stranger.

Do you dance or die?
I know some things can make us cry
I know there's words that we don't say
I don't like you anyway,
But this is all, my dear,
And you're losing it with innocence.

I don't know about my life,
About drugs, disease and danger
But there's a guitar that I can play,
And a dollar from a stranger.

[A very late night penning, I haven't done rhyme in a while. I haven't done anything for a while.]

Come on God, do I seem bulletproof?

darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

1 posted 2006-04-30 02:30 AM

long time no read.

i check this forum just to see your name

this had such a chili's vibe to it wooop.

love it

maybe i just love the fact that your writing

and you're making me woop which is always a good sign

love and miss you darling

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

niere
Member

since 2006-04-23

Posts 77

2 posted 2006-04-30 10:41 AM

oh this is really really nice. wonderful infact.

this poem really makes you think and appreciate and feel guilty all at once...

loved it.

vampiana
Member

since 2004-09-08

Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere

3 posted 2006-05-06 06:29 AM

golly-gosh
this is amazing and brilliant and just ahh
you writing stirs such inspiration in me.
keep going you rock so hard.
xxxx

The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.

silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

4 posted 2006-05-07 02:51 AM

woah this is sooo cooooooool
yay i love ur writing so much
rhyming was very good
much love
x

can you find me space inside your bleeding heart?

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

5 posted 2006-05-07 10:18 PM

I love this poem.. kinda like a song thing going on.. great writing the last stanza was great.. and the line that says something like "and your' losing it all with innocence" that is like.. a punch for the whole poem

great job..

`Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

6 posted 2006-05-09 03:28 AM

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not WHOA about this one but your comments made me like it. Gah, some people just rock, just brighten your day like that....

CK.
Hollow.

Come on God, do I seem bulletproof?

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