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Alone in the dark
Member

since 2006-02-10

Posts 105
On the edge of an abyss

0 posted 2006-04-23 02:30 AM

Outside;
Smile. Put on a happy face.
Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine.
After all, see me smiling?

Inside;
I've cried a million tears. Tears of sadness,
anger, loneliness, etc...
Too many emotions, too many tears.
But after all, who cares anyway?

People;
Always surrounded by people. Little people.
Loving, sweet, demanding. Always demanding.
Possesions, emotions. Mostly emotions.
Will I have enough for everyone?
What about me? Do I count?

Crowded;
Always. Physically, yes, but mostly emotional.
And yet,I feel lonely. Strange, huh?
Lonely, but never even alone long enough to think
my own uninterupted thoughts.
But what would I think about anyway?
I don't even know who I am anymore.

niere
Member

since 2006-04-23

Posts 77

1 posted 2006-04-23 04:44 PM

cool poem. i think you captured the emotions really well and i really liked the structure.
a good read.

Skip
New Member

since 2006-04-13

Posts 8
Texas,Usa

2 posted 2006-04-24 01:01 AM

Thats how I feel every day. Nice peom, very emotional and great choice of words.

Alone in the dark
Member

since 2006-02-10

Posts 105
On the edge of an abyss

3 posted 2006-04-24 01:26 AM

Thanx. It's nice to know somebody out there can relate to the way I feel, though I wish more than anything that nobody ever had to feel this way

playing.with.crayons
Member

since 2006-01-02

Posts 362
Neverland

4 posted 2006-04-24 05:16 AM

nice, I liked the "People" stanza very much. keep writing, and read around! there's a lot of talented writers around here. welcome to Pip.

SATURN
Member

since 2004-05-04

Posts 78
ok,us

5 posted 2006-04-25 12:39 PM

very nice write i can relate to this every moment of my life. very good imagry, hope to see more.

"Inside;
I've cried a million tears. Tears of sadness,
anger, loneliness, etc...
Too many emotions, too many tears.
But after all, who cares anyway?"

this part is what i go though every day.
SATURN

aliway
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 185
With in your eyes

6 posted 2006-04-27 08:27 PM

I feel the same. It’s cool how you did your poem.
I really like it

*leah

Astrogirl18
Junior Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 16
Canada

7 posted 2006-05-03 08:25 AM

I like it, nice

Alone in the dark
Member

since 2006-02-10

Posts 105
On the edge of an abyss

8 posted 2006-05-13 07:54 AM

Thank you all for taking the time to express your thoughts. I hope someday we all find an end to our pain

Angel

The Shadow in Blue
Member

since 2006-05-18

Posts 493
EL, Michigan

9 posted 2006-05-18 06:30 PM

I could understand where you were coming from when you wrote this. I especially liked the last stanza and the way you put into words the feeling of loneliness

"Crowded;
Always. Physically, yes, but mostly emotional.
And yet,I feel lonely. Strange, huh?
Lonely, but never even alone long enough to think
my own uninterupted thoughts."

Hope to read more of your poems!

~Jill

Neala
Member

since 1999-08-21

Posts 262
Florida, USA

10 posted 2006-05-18 11:33 PM

I like it.

Alone in the dark
Member

since 2006-02-10

Posts 105
On the edge of an abyss

11 posted 2006-06-05 12:12 PM

Thanks for the feedback. Everyone here has been so nice. It's making it alot easier for me to finally let others see my poems.

*Angel*

Trixy
New Member

since 2006-06-14

Posts 4

12 posted 2006-06-14 05:34 PM

I love this poem.

trUstNooNe
Member

since 2006-05-21

Posts 91

13 posted 2006-06-14 08:13 PM

like the way you worded the emotion,excatly what i needed to read today.i love it.*.

Alone in the dark
Member

since 2006-02-10

Posts 105
On the edge of an abyss

14 posted 2006-06-15 03:39 AM

Thanx for the kind words. That's exactly what I needed today!

*Angel*

lokiwolf
Junior Member

since 2006-06-27

Posts 31

15 posted 2006-06-28 12:02 PM

i love this website!!!!
and your poem of course

Alone in the dark
Member

since 2006-02-10

Posts 105
On the edge of an abyss

16 posted 2006-06-28 12:08 PM

Thanks. And welcome to pip! There's a lot of talent around here. looking forward to reading something of yours

^*^Angel^*^

Venus1974
Member

since 2006-07-15

Posts 79
Tennessee, USA

17 posted 2006-07-24 02:10 AM

another great one I can so relate here too...powerful emotions...great expression and artisticly so...Thanx for sharing

Peace and happiness to us all, Venus

the quell
Member

since 2006-07-19

Posts 144
Liverpool, UK

18 posted 2006-07-24 08:07 AM

Very intriguing piece. I liked the fact that it was unusually constructed, it made it seem like a stream of consciousness.

Where black, bleeding roses await the Thirteen,
I see not the stars, but the darkness between

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