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Dark Poetry #4

Dancing With Death

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

0 posted 2008-01-24 10:04 PM

Another day dream while we were dancing,
up inside my head is where I am laughing.
Leeping like a gazzel through life and hell,
searching till I find the poor and forsaken.
Consider all I've fallen for, all my other
dreams; then leave me here to ebb away,
lying beside my fear, and drowning in my
tears. Leave me for another with a better
scream.

Dying alone, everything gone. Nobody hears
when I scream in silent pain, crushed by
my own hate. Leave me for another with a
better death. Leave me and don't turn back.

FoReVeR.BrOkEn

shattered-smiles
Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 247
inside the shadows

1 posted 2008-01-25 08:13 AM

Very nicely put XxForever.BrokenxX. I like the form and the description of the poem. It's like when someone abandones you. That's the message I'm getting through the poem. Keep up the work.
TJ

[&] she's a blood broken rose

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

2 posted 2008-01-26 02:54 AM

Forgive me if I am too blunt. I could not understand what you were trying to convey. I sensed the emotion underneath, but that was all I got from it. Still, if it makes sense for you, then what I just said doesn't matter. Good job.

We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can only fly by embracing each other.
-Luciano De Creshenzo

An assassin-in-training shouldn't.

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

3 posted 2008-01-26 03:30 PM

sorry if i confused you. I'm not entierly sure I even know what it's about, I just wrote what I felt.

FoReVeR.BrOkEn

x-tears-x
Junior Member

since 2008-04-13

Posts 43
England

4 posted 2008-04-13 08:51 PM

dont quite get it...but amazing all the same. i didnt get it but i sorta knew what you meant. it completely rolls off you tounge.

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