Dark Poetry #4 |
demonheart |
Phoenix-reborn New Member
since 2005-12-21
Posts 3canada |
I'm a demon girl hiding, waiting in this fake shell im a redeyed creature with black feathered wings everytime someone dies a feather falls away. each one, a curse on those who touch it. they grow back endlessly waiting for more death murders, suicides or even accidents inside is plain evil desire to manipulate to see the fear in their eyes would be an orgasm they avoid me as best as they can but if they cross the path they will get burnt the only ones i like are the ones like me the ones who hate and love to hate beautiful, wild, and ruthless -dangerous combinations in this fake shell of a human girl. |
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© Copyright 2005 Ashley Kazakoff - All Rights Reserved | |||
shades of paul Member
since 2005-12-14
Posts 370In Reality |
A very good dark poem...........paul shades of paul,peace,love,and happiness |
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Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time |
very cool idea behind this. i like how you relate ebing the fake shell of a girl, very cool idea. 'im a redeyed creature with black feathered wings everytime someone dies a feather falls away. each one, a curse on those who touch it.' love the description used there, good write Life is a torment and torment an enigma. So burn the shackles of slavery and let love run free |
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sanozatsho Junior Member
since 2006-01-26
Posts 14 |
i find it to be a nice however it seemed that the flow was rough. not a smooth trasnition. i feel the three stanza i believe could be emitted. you drive a good pooint but there are follow ups i feel that are not there. perhaps i am being too gramtical. you speak of good darkness, human nature is a...evil thing at times. however i feel that you would do better if you went into more detail of this evil, the ruthlessness of humans, i believe your aim my have been females. i suppose i am looking for a deeper more detailed expression. |
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