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Dark Poetry #4

The Voice of Violence

gelato
Member

since 2005-10-27

Posts 63
TN,USA

0 posted 2005-11-06 01:01 AM

Hello, can you comprehend?
My world of dark, should I explain?
Because I envision softly aching
It leaves it's deeds while I'm weeping
And the villains that were left still
Cause me pain.
I do maintain.
There is a voice of violence.

With silent screams I am alone
Pathetic pleas I have known
And my shackles I do unclamp
And I just yell against the prison camp
When my eyes were grabbed by a sight
That gave me fright
It struck at night.
It was the voice of violence.

And in a wakened state I saw
Demanding people at my door.
People talking and they're seeking
Others sneering at everything.
People righting wrongs when voices
Tried to share.
But no one dared
Perturb the voice of violence.

"You say that you did not know
Secrets like some grapevines grow.
Hear my words so your fright subdues.
Break those chains that I might reach you."
But my words like silent raindrops fell
Upon your mind and still
You show the voice of violence.

But the people bowed and prayed
To a diff'rent god they made,
And their shrine trashed people knowing
With the worms that it was forming
And the lines said,
"The mind you should follow is unwritten
Upon the walls,
No thinking at all."
It's speaking in the voice of violence.

[This message has been edited by gelato (11-06-2005 09:01 AM).]

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member

since 2000-06-08

Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S

1 posted 2005-11-06 07:11 AM

The idea behind this piece is very good. though it seems at some points that your meaning is unclear and cofusion is brought upon us. But if that's the idea behind the voice Great Job.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-

gelato
Member

since 2005-10-27

Posts 63
TN,USA

2 posted 2005-11-06 08:18 AM

Thanks, Jeremiah.

"Buckle Up! It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car"

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