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navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » (Senyru?)
Dark Poetry #4
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Topheth
Member
since 2001-09-08
Posts 297
Texas
0 posted 2005-09-02 08:08 PM


Christ! I am bleeding.
My sacrifice flows brightly;
the world glows dimmer.


[This message has been edited by Topheth (09-04-2005 12:20 PM).]
© Copyright 2005 Topheth - All Rights Reserved
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
1 posted 2005-09-03 04:59 PM

*grin*

Thanks for standing to the challenge.
Check your email.


(The second line is missing one syllable, that's all).
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
2 posted 2005-09-03 06:59 PM

just add 'ly' to 'bright' on the second
and voila! the syllable count is accurate

but subject matter is SOOOOO dark
of course, this is the dark forum...

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
3 posted 2005-09-03 09:22 PM

ha!  Kacy, you are so good at these, perfect!
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navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » (Senyru?)

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