Dark Poetry #4 |
thoughts far from censored... |
Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
these thoughts cold... these dreams parched... this heart... far from woe is me this soul... far from playing the victim these eyes... shut wide open my body's... intuition choking on the odorous fumes of your reality... my world... does not revolve around you these thoughts far from censored... If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. [This message has been edited by Ceinwyn (09-25-2003 11:03 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Kristen Brandon - All Rights Reserved | |||
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
"my body's... intuition choking on the odorous fumes of your reality... my world... does not revolve around you" I like the strength in these uncensored thoughts. Well said, Kris... When the power of love overcomes the |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
I liked the narrow perspective and the visual effect the words give on the page. It adds much strength to the piece. Thanks, coyote |
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aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
nice piece.... the short lines make it easy to read although at the same time it seems like the writer has a short attention span. no offence though. it is an excellent poem the way it is... aussie teen |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Kris: it all lies right here: these eyes... shut wide open tell me about it one of these days they will see as they should beautiful writing, m'friend xxoo |
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