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Dark Poetry #4
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Betrothed
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Betrothed |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York 
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Night whispers sweet kisses summoning me from slumber. I rise - cotton flowing bridal dress, maid of honor in tow, draping my train along the dark hollows of dirt . . . |
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| © Copyright 2005 Sue Eckam - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
with eyelet edging, laced.  and oh how it becomes you susie.  |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
keep going, I love that line . . . this was too plain, I couldn't grasp all of it, K. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Wrought iron soldiers marked the passage pointing towards burgundy, velveted drape of eve. I walked beyond. With neck craned, I could not help but stumble upon knarled root; clutching my ankles, bare. Like bony fingers clasped in one last gasp. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
snakes in wisdom pounding fate as the slip in slithers bone around the ankle bound by fate of falling that which came too soon just before the ripening of the fruit in garden bled snakes they got a bad, bad, rep, and the fangtooth wound of bled understanding of the fall and presence of the Lord was stead shadows in the light without as they dressed themselves regret of the one they usedta be... figleaves and the cell is sweet yearning to be two, they grew another set of obstacles and out of edenfast they flew blanketing the shame they drew elbows over eyes and sued the devil as a saint is said: snakes are slivers up the legs that make the being human last - and curl the fondness of the grave: "My god, I was ashamed." |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
 yer easy to write with kin |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
 "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
you ladies, are so awesome.... how cool is this?! VERY  |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Yep....very very cool!!  |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Yep, and I agree, it is VERY cool!! Love you ladies,  |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Loved it. Both of you, lol. Come on God, do I seem bulletproof? |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
oh, but THIS IS POETRY! |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
And to this throne lives have been cast. Their knelt knees, bleeding bruised and peeling, like a tenement wall that no one can see. but me From lips pursed tight I stifle sound. Upon cold slab from centuries past where merchants roamed and gypsies fled to slay the gift of love and life offered by hands drenched in blood and shame taking life, amazing grace. I pray to myself My body prone in raiment fair, regretting now a pact thus marked by hands bound tight like ravens claws clasping straw to make a home flying by in dead of dark two full moons they stare me down eyes like knives into my heart a dagger drawn from snake to fruit while woman fed on happenstance. (definitely kin ) yer easy to write with too |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Fantabulous! Susie and Karen, Awesome you two... more please.....p l e a s e mxx "we all have wings, but some of us don't know why" Michael Hutchence (INXS) |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
very enjoyable to read your minds... hugs M |
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tonyc New Member
since 2005-06-25
Posts 5TN |
Very well written, visual, and stimulating |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Thanks everyone, especially K . . . she sparks my muse . . .  |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Wow. That was really cool. I like it. Thr enemies name is Satan a.k.a. "The Stupid Angel" |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Is that picture you or is someone else you drew? Its really good. -GIS Thr enemies name is Satan a.k.a. "The Stupid Angel" |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
LOL Craig, that's me . . . and thank you everyone . . . Karen is AMAZING to write with |
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Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! If you two don't get together and do something together, instead of just adding as you go, it will surely be a crime against humanity. Sue, the beginning was absolutely superb, and then Karen, and then Sue, and then.... *breathe* Did I forget to mention it was a great job??? I'm drowning, choking |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
now this is what i call poetry!!!! i know what you were in a past life and i know what you are now  i have these dreams...If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Hey guys, the only way TO write is on the spur of the moment like this. One very wise woman taught me that *wink* Thank you everyone, seems to me that my muse is a fiesty thang who likes to pop up when she feels like it, like this. And thank you Karen . . . for feeding it. Thanks guys. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Yanno? I've read this again and again And I'm left mute....cept to say You lovely, lovely women. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
*grin* we ARE pretty cool, huh? *laughing* |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Just unreal that is for sure, and what you bring to this forum would take me all day to tell ya. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
your crazeee, but thank you. *grin* |
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Brian James Member
since 2005-06-26
Posts 147Winnipeg |
this is really good Suzie, especially the formal disparity between the two stanzas and the way it emphasizes the two shorter lines. What a lame comment, I know, but I really like that. Also it's obscure, dark, and somehow I also want to call it ghostly, just by the description of oneself "rising" from a secure, clean, restful place into a grudging, earthy reality. It's not that it's negative, just very solemn and in that sense, very touching. "To me, the thing that art does for life is to clean it, to strip it to form." |
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