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Dark Poetry #4
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Memory
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Memory |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas 
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I stayed, you died I am still alive With you in me In my memory But now I'm free You are dead to me No more memory Of you in me I am still alive I stayed, you died Alicat 5/26/05 |
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| © Copyright 2005 Alastair Adamson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
pull no punches... this is so deceptively simple. nods Pain is like that.  tis a voice of the primal, bro. An articulate and honest scream, with implications that resonate |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
A slap in the face for me. Remains there for a while because I'll be thinking about it, and it stings a little. Is this too metaphoric? Meh. Awesome writing dude. Come on God, do I seem bulletproof? |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
came back to read because it's a primal scream sorta day.  and again, the simplicity of this works well for me bro. |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
I like this alot.....it was simple..but complicated..like there is a whole story behind it thats soo comlicated but you made it seem so simple. amazing. ~karissa I ask why, but in my mind, |
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Sikanda Member
since 2002-10-08
Posts 54 |
short but sweet... |
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TexUS Member
since 2003-03-20
Posts 228 |
Very affecting...made me ponder, made me weep. Great work. |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Thanks everyone for the responses. This came from one of those halfdreams, and is vaguely personally. In the dream I was forcibly evicting certain departed people in my life, and woke and wrote it as quickly as possible so as not to lose it. I ran it by Serenity, and she saw layers I hadn't thought of, until my third or fourth read. That's what I like, layers, where I can just write the blasted things, and let others tweak it to fit themselves.  |
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