Dark Poetry #4 |
One hope |
Soul Sepulchre Junior Member
since 2003-10-19
Posts 29Tennessee, USA |
((This one was done in ninth grade for my school. It has endured over the years and proven itself time and time again to be true - or at least, in my mind to be true. I've had a few good comments about it. Time to see what you all think.)) Oh the wicked ways of man, Will they never end, Never cease, Never rest? Such a tragedy, Oh such pain, That the world has grown to know, That it has grown to accept. For each passing second, This pain will continue to grow, Continue to open old wounds, And never be contained. Behold, though, what has been done, A man stands firm, Stands tall, And challenges this pain. He challenges the authority, Of all those who wish the world harm, Of all those who are the wicked men, And he will not bow down. Yes, he is a hope, A light to break through the dark, A house to give us safety, And he will never fall. A revolutionary to an unseen cause, To break the boundaries, To stand firm, And to never surrender. Who is this man? He is you, He is I, And this is why he is our own best hope. Jeremy - |
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© Copyright 2003 Jeremy McDonald - All Rights Reserved | |||
SharaRose Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501Somewhere out there~ |
So true...that He IS! Love, Terri~ |
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Soul Sepulchre Junior Member
since 2003-10-19
Posts 29Tennessee, USA |
Terri, I'm not quite sure what you meant by that. Was that supposed to be an insult, something sarcastic, or just a weird way of saying you liked it? Mind reiterating? Jeremy - |
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~*DrAgOnFLY*~ Junior Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 29Haven of Abyss |
good thoughts in there, i liked how you saved the clincher. terri could have been more clear, but it didnt seem sarcastic to me... "You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same" |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
hey, some good stuff here, i like this. by the way, i think what Terri meant by "So true...that He IS!" was "he is a hope" as said in one of your lines in this piece. welcome to piptalk, hope to see more from you Jeremy. - River Love hurts as bad as it feels good. |
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*Inque Monroe* Junior Member
since 2003-10-18
Posts 43No where special |
Really good, post more of your poetry ^^ |
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