Dark Poetry #4 |
Surrounded by Reindeer |
Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
I awoke from a disastrous dream to find myself standing naked in the snow, feet frozen where they stood. Upon further provocation of my senses I realized I was not alone this blizzardous night. I was surrounded by reindeer with eyes steaming red. Their antlers formed razor sharp givers-of-gifts of the death-not-wrapped kind. Across the way I saw a huge man lying on once white earth turned life-drained red, the same red as the suit he wore to meet his maker. An abundance of worldly treasures I noticed shred to unrecognizable pieces... Was it the frolic of reindeer games, or the foreplay of things to come for me? Hoofs thrashed at the ground, announced distance soon to be shortened; what was I to do? To my left, and I to its right, I saw a dead tree. Somehow the moonlight was finding its way thru snows end. As it beamed down and hit that tree, the absence of light on the other side shadowed a cross. The Christmas animals of rage charged! I ran to the shadow, closed my eyes and prayed... and woke up with a renewed sense of the season. ---------------------- i owe respect to darkness_witch for inspiring! Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere [This message has been edited by Purity (12-03-2004 12:05 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2004 Carrigan Chantz - All Rights Reserved | |||
Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Are you trying to tell me Santa is evil Purity? or not him, but the animals he raises, the toys his elves create, the food his dear wife slaves over to feed his beergut? Hehehehe, 'Tis the season to be jolly alright. The theme was the entire best of this poem, but it was very crafty, "When I woke up, it was all a dream." kind of thing, but different. Very much enjoyed. Don't you love the festivity of this season though? And here, I am very much looking forward to summer christmas, with barbequed xmas dinner, swimming, jandals, sunblock, and probably sunburn but what the hey? Hollow Courtney Cool write I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World. |
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EveGnosis Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300New York, USA |
holy .... !!!! now this was twisted, purity. which is to say i absolutely loved it!!! man, what a way to get a message through. first bob and his father time poem of grandeur, then you go and reach the same message by much more dark, gruesome means! this rocked!! (and not around the traditional sense of the christmas tree, anyway!) you rule! of all the things we try to find... it's only love we keep. |
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News_From_Nowhere Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173CU, NY |
Now who's the bloody freak? The imagery here in your words are extremely vivid. So much that I would only make my child read this as punishment for something very, very bad she did. & Yet, I only say this in humorous gest, for she wouldn't be able to see the beauty of what you are dichotomizing here, and of what you gain in your sense after the "dream" is over. What a dark way to present a message of hope... Great, great, great... "So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm" |
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Ladycat
since 1999-07-05
Posts 782At the edge and a doorway,TX |
hahahahah.. That is all that I have to say about that. Thank you for the wonderful read. Love, Ladycat "Everything changes, everything stays the same."-Bill Austin |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
I've never had a fear of reindeer before, but after reading your poem earlier, I had this very strange feeling all day that I was being surrounded. (Smiles) Some Great Imagery here. I love it, even though I can't get those stupid reindeer out of my head. -Bob |
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EveGnosis Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300New York, USA |
you gotta let me in on darkness_witch being the inspiration! if she inspired this horror, then she deserves kudos indeed! like bob, i had to come back and chastise you for making those once sweet, innocent, very much anticipated reindeer become a nightmare image that follows me even when awake. you're mean! just kidding? lol (but did ya have to go and murder santa???) of all the things we try to find... it's only love we keep. |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
why thank you! haha i cant believe i inspired such a piece! this one was awesome.. loved the gruesome picture i was getting in my minds eye! what a trun on the festive season huh! keep it up!!! love and empathy sophie nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Nice (or not) write, m'friend |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Now whats wrong with a little holiday cheer? lol -GIS Doing the same thing a million times in a row will definitely affect your head. Read and pratice and read and pratice and read and prati........ead a |
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EveGnosis Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300New York, USA |
yep, had this one on my mind all day too. shame on you purity! i've always eagerly awaited in anticipation santa's arrival, but if he's using those reindeer, jeesh...maybe i'll pass this year. lol. merry christmas my friend. of all the things we try to find... it's only love we keep. |
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EveGnosis Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300New York, USA |
hard to believe it's been four years since this was posted. freaked me when i read it again, and reminded me why i get so upset battling the crowds for those shreded gifts. a true testimony on commercialism, and a great reminder of the real reason. miss ya on here, purity. merry christmas! of all the things we try to find... it's only love we keep. |
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pyre Member
since 2008-05-16
Posts 136 |
i had a bit of a make-over. i'm still green_itchy_stuff, just with a different attitude. my god, at first glance i almost made a stinky mess when I saw this. it is still a good write. pyre lol (formerly known as green_itchy_stuff) Does she pray, or am I prey? |
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pyre Member
since 2008-05-16
Posts 136 |
i always thought santa's reindeer had soft & gentle antlers. they would apparently do well at a gwar concert. lol Does she pray, or am I prey? |
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Def-init Member
since 2008-12-03
Posts 186Toronto, Canada |
Woah, I liked this piece. "I awoke from a disastrous dream to find myself standing naked in the snow, feet frozen where they stood. Upon further provocation of my senses I realized I was not alone this blizzardous night. I was surrounded by reindeer with eyes steaming red. Their antlers formed razor sharp givers-of-gifts of the death-not-wrapped kind." Are my fav lines in your work. Pretty deep and disturbed. |
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JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
Definitely a very creative and original write. |
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