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Dark Poetry #4
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Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand

0 posted 2004-12-02 01:11 AM


Walk past another day
Faceless,
Hang my head
Peek through my fingers
Is the world gone yet?
Is it safe to come out?
Faceless,
Change a few letters
And I’m
Fearless

Shy away from another day
Blankly,
Shield my eyes
Crawl out from under the bed
Have you turned off my light yet?
It’s too bright, isn’t it?
Blankly,
Change all the letters
And I’m
Alright

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

© Copyright 2004 Courtney - All Rights Reserved
darkness_witch
Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516
Underneath
1 posted 2004-12-02 03:01 AM


liked it
but the end.... "change all the letters" thing just didnt tickle my fancy i really liked the first one cause the words actually linked but yeah.

short and a bit too brief

its good
love and empathy
sophie

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

News_From_Nowhere
Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173
CU, NY
2 posted 2004-12-02 10:08 AM


Proving that choice for Queen
most exceptional!
It took a lot of creativity
to structure the two verses
in exactly the same pattern
& a fine job you did of it!
Nice!!

"So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm"

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
3 posted 2004-12-07 09:29 PM


Thanks News, lol, and I gree with you Soph, but what can I change blankly to? Arggh.

Hollow.
Courtney.

You just got to see me through another day
My body's achin' and my time is at hand
And I won't make it any other way

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