Dark Poetry #4 |
Moments |
vampiana Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296Nothing and Nowhere |
I feel every ounce of your sorrow I feel every ounce of your pain. I wish for no tomorrow I know you wish the same. Who are these people around me? Who's surrounding you? A simple buzz of commotion Seperating me from you. And in this moment I know you're gone And just like time passed by You're never coming back. Then people guess our problems With self satisfied smiles, Think they know all the answers To things lacking Questions. But you were all that mattered And i saw the light Go out of your eyes And in that moment, In that moment I died. "I cannot stand the way you tease, I love you though you hurt me so"-Marilyn Manson |
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© Copyright 2004 Kirsty - All Rights Reserved | |||
News_From_Nowhere Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173CU, NY |
"Then people guess our problems With self satisfied smiles" PERFECT!!!!!!!!! Again, you rule the Kingdom of Po-et... Gotta work on the endings, though. Even though I love 'em, for once You gotta end the poem ruling the world!!! Love again! Rider "So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm" |
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EveGnosis Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300New York, USA |
first four lines kick arse!!!!! i'm withya here. have been all along. you're good, vamp~!! hey, i agree with newsy on this one. it's high time you stop and say, "hey, dammit, for once i end up on top. deal with it, you!" lol... you inspire. i indulge. i'll always need a friend, one i can defend. |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
I feel this. Fluck (you again lor). I feel awful sometimes, and I try to pick myself up, but nothing does it and I just don't understand. I try to second-guess everyone, but....babbling. Sorry. I really liked this poem in a sad sort of way. It was...can't describe it. I want to say edible. Trying to metaphorize, it's edible because I can digest it easily, and it's acid is stronger than my stomach acid so it eats holes through me. I'm satisfyed now. Hollow. Courtney. I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World. |
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aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
this is amazing.... i know this all to well.... hell it happened today..... nice write as always..... Ruth live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever...... |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
this was good vamp...very good. lol I can relate exactly...we see each other everyday, and it doesnt get any easier to accept the fact that nothing will ever be the same between us....we stopped talking close to three months ago, and sometimes i still cry over him...yes, pathetic, i know. But it is the truth...Gawd i miss him. Kissa I ask why, but in my mind, I find i cant really rely on myself. ~~~Linkin Park~~~ |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
kristy...the first stanza is awesome! i love ur poems and can always relate! great write!! ~Alli~ *:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
woah kirsty. woah. this is sooooo good. oh i love it! is it about a certain 'J'? cuz if it is u conveyed that really well. true, true and true. loved it LOR your the only one keeping me alive |
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vampiana Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296Nothing and Nowhere |
I wish I could write poems in which I come out on top, but I like to kinda keep them relating to my life...and I never come out on top. I wish I could come out on top, belive me, I PROMISE as soon as I do, I'll write a poem about it! lol THANKS EVERYONE FOR THE REPLIES!! lots of love, Kurst "I cannot stand the way you tease, I love you though you hurt me so"-Marilyn Manson |
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