Dark Poetry #4 |
over the sound |
Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
It's not really the type of thing you say in a coffee shop. It would make more sense to hear it screamed over all the orange at the prison at visiting hour. Or from the witness stand in a court room as the lawyers review their notes. In the autopsy room, while they cut at your gray body and look for the cause of death as I smile. Because you killed me, you broke a little girl. And you deserve to breathe in dirt. No flowers on your grave. No one will pity you. I laughed at the sound when your head hit the black and white titled floor. Your lip was busted...like mine was that afternoon in august. I talk of this revenge in a coffee shop, over the sound of blenders and love songs. It's not really the place for it. |
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© Copyright 2004 Alexis Smith - All Rights Reserved | |||
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Alexis? what a powerful write, I commend you I know the same pain. |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
God, great ending. Hollow. Courtney. I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World. |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
"Because you killed me, you broke a little girl. And you deserve to breathe in dirt. No flowers on your grave. No one will pity you." That part drew me in...I liked the ending too. Awesome poem. Congrats on 800 posts. ~Alli~ *:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
oh wow! amazing woah i loved this one! im going to save this one to read again when I'm in a "not so good" mood. the begining was awesome, and then the ending just topped it off love and empathy darkness nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
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s1nfully_1nn0c3nt Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105Watertown, NY |
"In the autopsy room, while they cut at your gray body and look for the cause of death as I smile" I Love This Line....Great Poem All Together I'd Rather Be Hated For Who I Am Then Loved For What I'm Not~!~ Much Luv, ~!~"Trina"~!~ |
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