Dark (deVine's Halloween Challenge)

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littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

0 posted 2004-10-11 05:51 PM

It spoke to me.

It did.
I swear.
I am not lying this time.
I felt it
move
rather . . . sweep
across the back of my neck.
Oh My God! There it is again
I need help this time,
I can't do it alone.
I promised I wouldn't be bad.
I promised I would be good.
This time
It means business.
Oh, God! Here it is
the creeping
death
matter spilled
like blood from my eyes
they see it around
the staircase.
It creeps
like fog or smoke
and settles into the
marrow of my bones,
crunching them like
brittle twigs of Autumn.

A sigh
escapes these lips.

My teeth rattle.

The last sound

scream

breath . . .

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Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

1 posted 2004-10-11 07:24 PM

Way to hit the challenge! I like it! Have to read these with the lights on though!

EveGnosis
Member

since 2002-02-21

Posts 300
New York, USA

2 posted 2004-10-11 11:46 PM

"and settles into the
marrow of my bones,
crunching them like
brittle twigs of Autumn."

such great lines, and yes, it had this effect on me reading it as well. truly great dark challenge poem.

i'll always need a friend, one i can defend.

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

3 posted 2004-10-12 01:44 AM

Reminded me of EveGnosis's poem that I just read. Why do these type make me stop whatever I'm doing and lean in, my hand on the mouse so I can go down the page? Striking poem here lw, (striking, thats new)

Hollow.
Courtney.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

4 posted 2004-10-12 03:26 AM

hehe awesome, i love scary books/poems and i too was gripping the mouse and "leaning forwrad in anticipation"(LOR!). woah really really great!

Oh, God! Here it is
the creeping
death
matter spilled
like blood from my eyes

loved thats bit. you always seem to astound LW!

love and empathy
darkness

keep them coming!

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.