Dark Poetry #4 |
Hanging by threads they call my veins... |
Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Hollow. Shattered with feeble permission, After all the musing I release In the end It didn’t matter In the end No one cared. And now Scraping up what was left The blood and pulp, The voices; Long gone Echoing through the walls. Breathing shallow yesterday Gone now Without a trace. Sedated love Half-hearted remarks I’m so sorry I’m so sorry. This coincides with the blue prints Our mortality was meant to persevere, Till the moon cracked From humankind’s weight. Seized And Vacant Enduring And Dense Breathless And Numb Inhaling And Devoted Each one You And Me I won’t let go. But if your grasp slips. If you fall. Pull me down too. I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World. |
||
© Copyright 2004 Courtney - All Rights Reserved | |||
silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
wow. holy sheets. (replacement language) that was so brilliant, i think one of ur very best. ouch i loved oh so much im kinda....... well not kinda... very jealous. omg i loved it AAAHHHHH U AMAZING CHILD LOR put your frustrations into four letter words - incubus |
||
vampiana Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296Nothing and Nowhere |
absolutely brilliant. the formation 10 gold stars!! the language 10 gold stars!! the EVERYTHING 10 gold stars!! LOL-i know..."gold stars" but seriously, they were the only creative things of could think of at the moment..LOL loved it to death, think you've outdone urself Kirsty "Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?"-Frank from Donnie Darko |
||
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I really liked the construction here. I thought it very creative, as a sort of totem of crucifixion, the visual works well to illustrate your idea. Inventive, and agony evident, it does make this reader wonder your conclusion (if any) but? It truly doesn't matter the way you worded and sculped this-- though it's tempting to ASK, the open-ended question illustrates more wonderfully than a neatly wrapped answer might. Much enjoyed. |
||
darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
OH WOW OH WOW OH WOW *excited face* OH WOW !!!!!!!!!! WHEN HAVE I EVER BEEN THIS EXCITED ABOUT ONE SINGLE POEM UUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMM TODAY MY DEAR!! oh my goodness! i couldnt stop my eyes from darting back up to the top of the page to read it through again and again! this is amazing...... i cant put my finger on why but it just freakin is! love the set out, the last bit rocked extremely hard. ahhhhh i agree with everything said hear, and am gunna stop ranting and raving in the hope you get my drift! love and empathy darkness nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
||
Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
And I will fall with you any day, Hollow, for before we hit rock bottom, you'll have something very inspiring to say and I'll forget that we're falling (and our impending demise). Simply one of your very best! Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |