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Dark Poetry #4
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bleed for you
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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bleed for you |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
you tear at me hacking away with that glistening knife of yours my soul lies bare for you to inspect for you to interegate my soul stares back and asks for acceptance but really it just wants to be held you search and peer looking for my flaws you dig them out from underneath my skin i cringe and shudder as you laugh cruely and stare critically my scars are there as obvious as day and you trace them with your beautiful hands i choke back my tears of embarressment and betrayal and wring my hands until they bleed the blood drips forming a pool for you i bleed for you for what i thought was a future for what i thought was love for what fooled me i bleed for how weak i am for how blind i am i know you would never bleed for me so i bleed a little more nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
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EveGnosis Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300New York, USA |
"my soul stares back and asks for acceptance but really it just wants to be held" but did you have to go and turn that blade on me?? and i totally loved the last line. incredible write, d_w!!! i'll always need a friend, one i can defend. |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
Wow, this was sooo amazing, and brilliant. It was so sad too. I loved the ending though. "I know you would never bleed for me so i bleed a little more" Damn...i absolutely loved this. I am saving. Karissa I ask why, but in my mind, |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
"you search and peer looking for my flaws you dig them out from underneath my skin i cringe and shudder as you laugh cruely and stare critically" This part hurt so much. So much. Most would say they cry for another, and you could replace every "bleed" with "cry" but bleed....excellent. Nicely done. Your tearing me apart here, glad your posting though  Hollow. Courtney. I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
and does it ever stop? *sigh* *nodding head* Just be good to you, k? |
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aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
this is beautiful, sad, amazing, knife turning and gut wrenching. your writing is so full of emotion and you always have un expected twists in your work. i love it...... keep them coming always look out for number 1 keep your head high, stay strong, the pain will pass live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever...... |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
This type of "tearing at you" causes "tearing" of my eyes. Was spellbound by the first lines, and loved the imagery of "wringing" your hands until they bleed. Good job! Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere |
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vampiana Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296Nothing and Nowhere |
i bleed for how weak i am for how blind i am i know you would never bleed for me so i bleed a little more that moved me, beyond words, it just sent shivers down my spine, made my tears sting my eyes...honestly..that was just so full of pain, and emotion and honesty, and it was like you took the situation im in, and put it into words...wow...those words are seriously gonna stay with me forever...im gushing... loved it. loved it. loved it. Kirst. "Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?"-Frank from Donnie Darko |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
intresting write Pimpin and panderin, on a level you can't serve, dismantle, nouns, pronouns, adverbs, and verbs |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
wow..sorru, i know i have replied once, but i had to came back and read this again, and just wow. I cant even begin to say how much i love this, and can relate... Like i said b4, i love this. It will never get tired of reading this. Karissa I ask why, but in my mind, |
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vampiana Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296Nothing and Nowhere |
i re-read this. and this really needs to be saved in my library! lots of love Kurst Pride is holding your head up, when everyone else has their's lowered. Courage is what makes you do it. |
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vampiana Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296Nothing and Nowhere |
ok.. i'm so dumb. i forgot to click the "save" thing.. |
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CrEaTuRe Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 260Kuala Lumpur,Malaysia |
The depth of this make one feel even more with each word slowly sinking into ones soul... Loved it! Love CoMeS To ThOsE WhO Still HoPe AlThOuGh They've BeeN DiSaPpOiNteD,To ThOsE WhO StiLL BeLiEvE AlThOuGh ThEy'Ve BeeN BeTraYeD,LoVe KeEpS ThEm GoInG |
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sgreybe Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 209London, UK |
Dear Darkness Witch WOW! What a great piece of artistic work. Such feeling. I could feel every word, every stare, every stab. This is fantastic. I feel for you. Know that we are here for you. Your true friends who understand. I know that the pain feels as if it will never cease, but at least it gets a bit easier to handle (after time!)... Stay strong and keep writing! Thanks Sylvia |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
The blood is not an answer but the question. The essence of renewal? Nice write, DW. CB 8) "If at first an idea is not absurd, there is no hope for it." |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
This was completely amazing...I love it..It's going in my library..Awesome job. "Cuz I'm broken, when I'm lonesome, and I don't feel right when you're gone away..."~ Seether |
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