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Dark Poetry #4
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Perfectly In Love
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Perfectly In Love |
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vampiana Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296Nothing and Nowhere |
As the smile forms your mouth My stomach flips, my heart races, my whole body's elated. My mindfuzzes, my mouth freely returns a goofy grin. Ultra alert senses, time in slow motion Regretting every word i've said And every word i didn't say Tormented soul, so blissful its hurts. Collecting rare moments, when i'm not thinking of you Sweaty palms, i just want to hold you My view changes to your back Slowly walking away, i want to scream Anything to get you to return, stay put, Continue our pointless conversation. Then my thoughts change, Anxiety riddles my body, Icy cold, my blood stops flowing Realisation, is too hard to handle You don't feel the same. I'm just a quick fix to boredom A passing by face One of those who claim to know you But you do not claim back Why is my heart shattering? Splintered pieces, puncturing my organs Because even the thought A flashing vision Is enough to break me, Fragile as glass When I'm perfectly in love With You. Tomorrow, is the today we feared yesterday. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Kirsty - All Rights Reserved | |||
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Nice poem about the emotions of love. You have captured well the strange and sometimes painful sensations that it can often elicit. However, I think your structure and form could be improved. |
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aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
this is beautiful this has brought tearss to my eyes because its exactly what i have just been through.... i love your writing and the way you can express your emotions.... if you ever want to chat email me at hells_angel_128@hotmail.com hope to read more soon. Ruth live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever...... |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Ohh Kirsty, this hit me good . . . it is beauty in its pain . . . the ending is . . . perfect. Nice writing |
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in_luv_06 New Member
since 2006-09-30
Posts 9 |
LOVED IT!!!!!! |
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broken_smile1469 Member
since 2006-07-02
Posts 104 |
great poem i can definently relate to it Great Job! |
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JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
WOW! Totally awesome! |
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Brittany Junior Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 32Canada |
wow, this was really good! Ive jst been through a similar experience and you capture the emotions so perfectly, it's amazing! you are a very good poet. ~Life Ain't Always Beautiful~ |
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rockbabe Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 105 |
Great write, I am curently in the exact position...and it is hell. Thanks for sharing |
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Moonkist Member
since 2006-09-29
Posts 197Pennsylvania |
Yeowch! I can feel the pain. I hope this isn't based on a true experience of yours... if it is, my heart goes out to you... know you will survive... Very good write, felt so real. Peace, Moonkist ...live in future's past... |
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trUstNooNe Member
since 2006-05-21
Posts 91 |
i like this alot...powerful words...love the ending.. |
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Khatharsis Junior Member
since 2006-05-21
Posts 42 |
"Why is my heart shattering? Splintered pieces, puncturing my organs Because even the thought A flashing vision Is enough to break me, Fragile as glass When I'm perfectly in love With You." That was indeed my favorite part. This was great and amazing. Nothing else I can say that hasnt been said. P.S. If ya could peep "Your Hand in Mind" poem of mine, whenever you get the chance it would be much appreciated. Thjanks for sharing! |
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