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Dark Poetry #4
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he was
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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he was |
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Asian Rain Member
since 2003-10-11
Posts 73 |
he was... a book of white words on sepia pages sprinkled by hyssop with rose blood, a statue of David on a frayed velvet shawl in the west window at sunset. he was an island of rituals and moss covered monoliths, a man of dark secrets with an implaccable mask. he hid in wild fields and burnt autumn foliage, bleeding his rust on my innocence. his voice was a cello, snow fell from his eyes and his hands crossed in the posture of sorrow i assumed in a breath when he passed. |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Now that's poetry..... Excellent. coyote |
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swow finix Junior Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 14here but nowhere now |
asian rain i usualy like to write large replies but with your poem one word come to mind.... wow. ~ swow finx ~be who you want- belive what you want~ love who you want~ |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
You should post this in Open. Awesome write. ~Tier |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
excellent.. in both images and in the conveyence of a form that uses repeated references.. not easily carried out in a short poem, but you have done so and done so with style, power, and grace one small thing.. the ending line. To it would read better if broken into two parts. |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
this is a good write i enjoyed this very much... "For those who understand you, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, none is possible." |
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Asian Rain Member
since 2003-10-11
Posts 73 |
Thanks all for the very kind and encouraging comments. Cpat, thanks for the hint, I see what you mean and will change that line n the next rewrite. Asia |
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