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Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

0 posted 2004-09-04 09:15 PM

I wish I were a puzzle
That you could put together,
I wish I were nonexistent
So you could take my place
And live forever,
Are the teardrops flowing faster?
Now I'm gone?
You don’t have to cry,
You know if it were me,
I wouldn’t be.
I wouldn’t be.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

1 posted 2004-09-04 10:05 PM

Heh, interesting little poem.

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

brezee
Member

since 2003-06-02

Posts 140

2 posted 2004-09-04 10:30 PM

wow wow wow! I totally love this! haha I dont know what to say b'sides wow. it's short but it still has everything needed to be awesome...I'm savin' it! I like it oodles and gobs 'n tons 'n tons! great job! lol.

~*brezee*~

darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

3 posted 2004-09-04 11:28 PM

woah awsum liked it alot. hmm no sure wot else to say so.....
hasta luego

darkness

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

4 posted 2004-09-05 01:49 AM

oh my!

i loooooveee

i wouldnt be.
i wouldnt be.

LOVE THE REPEAT! and love ur endings too

LOR

say wat you will, say what you mean, but you could never offend cuz your dirty words come out clean

News_From_Nowhere
Member

since 2002-06-14

Posts 173
CU, NY

5 posted 2004-09-05 10:14 AM

Poignant poem, Hollow. Loved it!

"So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

6 posted 2004-09-06 03:28 AM

Thank you for your replies guys! I tried to make this poem longer, but the words wouln't come and I kind of like it short.

Hollow.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

vampiana
Member

since 2004-09-08

Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere

7 posted 2004-09-09 02:02 AM

cool poem. don't make it longer, it works short. too long could kill it. but yeah, its pretty awesome...your writing is so inspiring..

"Cut myself on angel's hair and baby's breath"-Kurt Cobain

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